Ultimate Randomness
by PhantomFaustfan
Summary: In a land of darkness, a hero will arise. Peace will be restored...after a bit of chaos by the hero, more like heros, of course! Taste the delicious taste of randomnisity! This chapter's for all you Tasuki fans out there! He's in swim trunks!
1. Introduction Chapter

Introduction Chapter

PFf: Welcome everyone to Ultimate Randomness! (fanfare and cheering) Thank you, thank you. In this "story", I write down random things that I feel like writing. Sometimes I even have special guests come over! You never know who! Sometimes some characters come over way more than others but, who cares! I'll even have some of my own friends come over! I do have permanent characters, though! Only 2. First off, my idiotic, drunk husband, Tasuki.

Tasuki: Hey, I heard that!

PFf: (ignores him) And the second one is my bestest buddy ever…Chichiri!

Chichiri: Hi everyone, no dah!

PFf: We get to do whatever we want, when ever we want!

Chichiri: And if you the reader wants to give us any suggestions (please keep it PG to PG-13), just tell us, no dah!

All: So enjoy our randomnessity (no dah)!

(PFf: I apologize if this is so short. This is just an intro, the real chapters will be longer!)


	2. Chapter 1: Good Side or Bad Side?

PFf: Yay! My first real chapter! WHEE!

Tasuki: What's so special about it, huh?

PFf: This is the chapter that gives my first impression of me to the world and shows how hard and long I've worked on it just for the people!

Tasuki: Tch, yeah right! I t only took ya one day ta make this chapter! It didn't even take ya that long!

PFf: Shut up, they don't need to know that…Anyway, enjoy the chapter while Tasuki goes "swimming"!

Tasuki: GAAAHH! NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT!

Chichiri:sweatdropping Uh, PFf-san does not own us or any other characters appearing, no dah.

Chapter 1: Good Side or Bad Side?

PFf: Hey everybody! Guess what? Our very first guests to day are…(drumroll) the Heylin Warriors from Xiaolin Showdown! Dun dada Dun! Featuring: Chase Young, Wuya, Hannibal Bean, Jack Spicer, Vlad, Cyclops, Catnape, and Tubbymura! Ta-dah!

Tasuki: Hey! Why're ya makin' the very first people here all bad guys!

PFf: Cause I felt like it! Besides, Chase is the awsomest bad guy ever!

Tasuki: So yer rootin' for the bad guys now!

PFf: No! Just Chase! (hugging arm)

Chase: (disgruntled look) Get off!

Wuya: Hey he's mine! Hands off!

PFf: Shut up, No Face Hag!

Wuya: How dare you call me that! Lightening Strike!

ZAP! KABOOM!

PFf: (perfectly fine) Was that supposed to hurt me?

Wuya: WHAT!

Chase: (a little fried)…Wuuyaa…

Wuya: Heh heh…Sorry, Chase!

-----------------------------------

Hannibal: Hmm, she has interesting powers.

Wuya: They could help us greatly! Why don't you get her to join us, Chase?

Chase: Why me?

Hannibal: Cause she likes you, so go!

Chase: tic Fine! PFf, will you join the dark side?

PFf: Me, join the dark side? Hmm…na!

Jack: Hey, Chase! I got an idea! (whispers)

Chase: Are you sure, Spicer? If it doesn't work, we'll have your head.

Jack: It'll work! (thumbs up)

Chase: Grr, fine. PFf.

PFf: Yup, yup!

Chase: Come to the darkside, we have cookies.

PFf: GASP! COOKIES!

Tasuki: YER WILLIN' TO JOIN THE DARKSIDE FOR COOKIES!

PFf: (ignores him) Keep 'em coming!

Tasuki: Grr, what an idiot!

Chichiri: I got an idea to bring her back to the lightside, no dah!

Tasuki: Really! What is it?

Chichiri: PFf-san, why don't you join us, no dah! We got chocolate cake, no dah!

PFf: CAKE!

Jack: Oh yeah! We got every video game you ever want!

Tasuki: We got a million dollars!

Wuya: We got every anime you want!

Chchiri: We got ipods, no dah!

Hannibal: Trip to Japan!

Tasuki: World round trip, wherever you want to go!

Catnape+Tubbymura: We got Chase plushies!

Tasuki: We got chibi-Chichiri! (holding chibi-Chichiri by the back of his shirt, him giving her puppy dog eyes on the verge of tears)

PFf: (looks back and forth) I'm confuzled!

Chase: Just join the darkside. You're wasting our time.

PFf: Uuuuuuuh…Nope!

Heylin Side: WHAT!

PFf: Listen, you guys are cool and all, but I'm not gonna be a bad guy. So since that's all cleared up…Can I still have all that stuff?

Chase:…No.

PFf: Aww.

Tasuki: Ya idiot, ya almost became evil!

PFf: Ah come on, did you really expect me to become evil. Besides, who could refuse a face like this! (holding chibi-Chichiri) He's so cute!

Tasuki: Moron.

PFf: I heard that!

PFf: Well that's my first chapter! Hope you enjoyed it ! I would like to give my thanks for the help of making this chapter to one of my bestest buddies, Linda, for giving and helping grow the idea for this chapter and I would also like to thank who ever out there made the Chase Young picture that started it all with one line: "Join the darkside, we have cookies!" Thank you all!

Tasuki: Hey, wait a minuet. Wasn't there supposed to be another line?

PFf: No! What gave you that idea!

Chichiri: Yeah. Something about a bad guy broth-MMMF!

PFf: No there wasn't! Shut up, Chichiri!

Tasuki: A WHAT!

PFf: Tasuki, do you want to go swimming again?


	3. Chapter 2: Alter Egos

PFf: Hello again, everyone! I was so happy Thursday! It was cartoon/kid day for homecoming at school and I got to dress up as Faust! I went all out! I made myself really pale and I made bags under my eyes and gave myself purple lips and I had this big lab coat and combat boots and had white gloves and I even went as far as to get a skull (fake one mind you) and cut a hole in it to make it look like a bullet hole! It was so much FUN! (In case you don't know (I know some people at school that watch anime didn't know) Faust VIII is a character in Shaman King. Let's just say he's a crazy doctor that loves his wife very much sweatdrop) And on another note that I should have put earlier, my full name is PhantomFaustfan, hence I put "PFf" for short. Just in case you didn't know. Well I already said too much so enjoy the chapter !

Chapter 2: Alter Egos

PFf: ……

Tasuki: Wow, fer once she's quiet. Hell musta froze over.

Chichiri: What are you thinking about, PFf-san?

PFf: Mm…Have you guys ever wondered what the bad guys would be like if they were actually good?

Tasuki: What in the world gave you that idea?

PFf: What? Don't tell me neither of you ever thought about that at least once! I mean, what would it be like if Nakago was good?

All: Hmm…(think bubbles)

Nakago: (in his deep voice singing) _Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?_

Tenko: (crying) He shames me as my disciple!

Seiryu: (also crying) I understand you completely!

Nakago: I love you all! Let's go have a picnic!

Everyone: (sweatdrop)

(think bubble pops)

All:……(shivers)

Tasuki: Creepy!

Chichiri: Scary, no dah!

PFf: Uh, uh…Freaky!

Tasuki: Took you long enough.

PFf: Shut up!

Chichiri: That was quite…interesting, no dah!

PFf: Hm…What about Naraku? He's pretty bad.

All: Hmm…(think bubbles)

Naraku: (walking around singing) _Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay, My o my what a wonderful day!_ (Kikyo comes by) O.O KIKYO!

Kikyo: What do you want?

Naraku: Uh, um, well, um, (blush) I was, uh, just, uh, kinda wondering (drawing on ground with foot) if we could, uh, well, ifwecouldgooutsometime!

Kikyo: Sorry, I'm taken. Goodbye.

Naraku: NOOOOOOOO! The love of my life was taken bye a flea bitten mutt! (sob sob, cry cry)

Inu Yasha: That's right!

(think bubble pops)

All: ……Interesting…

Tasuki: That was jus' plain weird.

Chichiri: I quite agree, no dah.

PFf: That was funny! HA HA HA wait, doing it wrong, Ku ku ku ku!

Tasuki: Will ya cut it out with the corny Naraku laugh! Ya don't even do it right!

Chichiri: You can't do much better, no dah.

PFf: Ooo, I know one! This one is the ultimate one! Sephiroth! (crowd gasp)

Chichiri: …Y-you're not serious, are you, no dah?

Tasuki: Y-yeah, I mean, come on!

PFf: Just a thought.

All: Hmm…(think bubbles)

Cloud: Earth!

Vincent: Fire!

Tifa: Wind!

Yuffie: Water!

Barret: Heart!

All: Go Planet!

Sephiroth: With you're powers combined, I Am Captain Planet!

All: YAY!

Sephiroth: FLOWER POWER! (bloombloombloom)

Cloud: Grr, I don't want your stinking flowers on me! (Whack)

Sephiroth: OW! WAAAAH! MOMMY! CLOUDY HIT ME WITH HIS BIG SWORD!

Cloud: Fight Like A Man, Already!

(think bubble pops)

All: ………Oookaaay…

Tasuki: That…was weird…

Chichiri: Very weird…

PFf: Captain Planet! (singing) _Captain Planet! He's our hero! Gonna take pollution down to zero!_

Tasuki: Don't ya even start that…again!

PFf: No wait! I need Linda! Liiindaaaa!

Tasuki: Let's go before she finds her.

Chichiri: Way ahead of you, no dah! (disappears through hat)

Tasuki: Cheater!

PFf: Whoo, that took awhile. For this chapter I would like to thank the person who made the "FF7: Captain Planet" on Youtube! I couldn't have done it without you!

Tasuki: Ya know, it's pretty sad that both you and your friend practically memorized that song thanks to that video.

PFf: Yes I know, we are sad. But that doesn't keep us down!

Chichiri: They need to find a hobby, no dah.

Tasuki: Badly.

PFf: Hey, quit talking about me over there!


	4. Chapter 3: Spellchecker Error

PFf: Hey-o everyone! I think I really got bored this time (sweatdrop). I must tell you, it might get hard to read!

Tasuki: Why'd ya do it in the first place?!

PFf: Cause, I felt like it. Besides, didn't you hear me say that I was _very bored!_

Tasuki: Yeh, yeh…

Chichiri: Enjoy the story, no da!

Chapter 3: Spellchecker error

Puff: Uh oh…

Task: What happened?

Puff: Uh…Nothing!

Task: Why does it say "Puff"?

Puff: No reason!

Task: Who the hell is "Task" and why is he saying what I'm saying!

Chichi: what happened to our names, no ad?

Puff: I can explain!

Task; Y a baetter! What the gecko does that say?

Chichi: Very bad spelling, no ad.

Puff: than spell thingy is screwed up1 oh no

Task; so fix it !

Chichi; yes, we dion't make sense, no ad!

Puff: I all try with no garantees I" m no computer geinius!

Task' Why don't yaw get you r friend to fic it?

Puff: Cause she's dieig!

Chichi oh no! it s getttin gas worse f ix ti, ni as?

Puff?

Task yea fie ti!

Puff!

Task; heo sago so m E thong!

Puff: ;)

Chichi: why E t an o d eou t v feet f gouging ?

Task?

Puff: ;(

Chichi; O. #

Task: we scre wed…

PFf: I sincerely apologize to the people subjected to my boredom. I kept seeing the spellchecker and I got this idea to mess it up. Please don't try to understand it; it can't be helped (bowing to everyone).

Tasuki: YES! I can talk normal now! Whoo- hoo!

Chichiri: It's a big relief, no da.

PFf: Same here. …Next time I do this, I'm really going to screw it up!

Chichiri+Tasuki: NO!

PFf: Buh-bye :)!


	5. Chapter 4: Watching TV

PFf: Hey, sorry for the wait. I told you that I can be lazy at times! Any way the results are good. It wasn't like all I did was mess around and forget it!

Tasuki: She did.

PFf: HEY!

Chichiri: Just go ahead and read the story, no da.

Chapter 4: Watching TV

PFf: I wonder what's on the telly!

Click: (BOOM BOOM! CRASH CRASH!) I'LL GET YOU, YOU BLEEP, BLEEP,

BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!

PFf: O.O (blink blink)

Tasuki: What the hell're you watchin'!?!

PFf: No clue…Lotsa blood and body parts flying…Cussing galore…gory deaths…His head being cut off with a plastic knife…

Tasuki: How can ya do that?

PFf: Don't know but he's doing it.

Tasuki: Why don't we change the channel?

Click: OH! OH, YES! YESS! OH!

Both:O.O Change It! Change It!

Click: Hello kids! We're going to have a great show today!

Both: Whew!

PFf: That was disturbing…

Tasuki: Yeah…

PFf: (harsh glare)

Tasuki: What's that look for?!

PFf: (still glaring) …No ideas…

Tasuki: Hey! Who d'ya think I am, a pervert?

PFf: Yes.

Tasuki: Hey, that's not fair!

PFf: Oh yeah? What about all those spells Tai Itsukun put on you a long time ago? You _were_ a perv then!

Tasuki: Now that's really not fair! I wasn't myself!

PFf: Tai Itsukun said those spells brought out your desires!

Tasuki: I didn't want that!

PFf: Coulda fooled me!

Chichiri: Are you guys fighting again, no da? I swear, you two need marriage counseling, no da.

Tasuki: She's sayin' I'm a perv!

PFf: Cause you are!

Chichiri: (thinking) Things will never change, no da. (sweatdrop, stop thinking) Uh, how bout a movie, no da?

PFf: Monty Python Holy Grail!

Tasuki: Noooo! We've seen that a hundred times!

PFf: No! Only sixty!

Tasuki: What about _It_?

PFf: EEEEK!!! NOOO!!! EVIL CLOWN!!

Tasuki: Aw c'mon! That was years ago! Get over it!

PFf: (mumbling) Evil clown. Evil clown. Evil clown…

(Chichiri putting in DVD)

Chichiri: (thinking) This should make them both happy, no da.) Guys, no da.

Both: (looking over) Hm?

(_Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust_ playing)

PFf: YAY! COOLNESS!

Tasuki: ALRIGHT! KICK ASS!

Both: (sitting on couch, eyes glued to TV)

Chichiri: (sigh) Things _really_ won't change, no da.

PFf: Whew, that took a while.

Tasuki: Cause you were messin' around too much!

PFf: So! Anyway, I would like to thank the wonderful world of TV, you never know what you'll run into ;-).

Chichiri: And she doesn't own any of the movies that were mentioned in here.

Tasuki: Wished she had _It_ though.

PFf: NO!

Tasuki: What, it's awesome!

PFf: I wish I had Monty Python!

Tasuki: Not that again.

PFf: "Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?" "Not at all, they can be carried."

Tasuki: Chichiri, she's doing it again.

Chichiri: Sidestep away, slowly, no da.

Both: (side step, side step)

PFf: "You silly Arthur king and your little knnnnnnnnnniggets!"


	6. Chapter 5: Special Chapter

PFf: Hey guys. In this chapter, no of us is going to be in it.

Chichiri +Tasuki: Bummer.

PFf: Anyway, this is another story I've been working on. It's not a fanfic. It's completely mine and mine alone. I wanted to see what kind of reaactions it'll get in the world so send your reviews on how you like it and if you want me to put the second chapter. This is the first time it's been in the real world so please be nice to it? Enjoy!

Chapter 1

**Beginning of an adventure….**

The best people in my school aren't the sport stars, cheerleaders, student council, cool people, bullies, teachers and so on; no, instead, it's the story-tellers. Don't know what I'm talking about? OK, here's how it all happened, nine years ago, when this school was brand new, there was this kid, right, and he was just like any other kid. Well, the English teacher had everybody in her class write diaries and they could put whatever they wanted in them. The kid decided to put stories in his; in fact, his name was John Story, what a co- wink-a-dink, right? Anyway, his stories where so good, the English teacher had him read them to the class, then the class was getting into them. After he became famous, he came up with, what every body called, a "story series", 'The Adventures of the Unknown World'. Soon after that, the principal had him read a new section of his series to the whole school every morning! He was famous! Unfortunately, he had to graduate some time. The teachers were even thinking of changing his grades and making him fail, even though he was passing. They couldn't do it because of weak hearts and the fear of losing their jobs. Story did do something to the kids though; he inspired them with those stories, made them show how they really thought and all that deep mushy stuff. After Story graduated, tons of kids were telling stories. Soon, all of them got a nickname, "story-tellers".

Interesting right, but now in the present, there aren't a lot of story-tellers this year. Oh, sorry, I've been babbling so much that I forgot to introduce myself, name's Kaymi. I know _weird_ name. At least I'm not named after a city like my friend, Miami. I go to Winifred High School; I'm in the 11th grade, a junior. If you saw me, you would of thought I was the kid next door or the kid sitting next to you in class I _was_ so normal. That didn't last long. Huh, you want to hear my story, all right, but if you make fun of me in the end, you are so dead.

As you know all strange happenings happen on normal days, well, this happened on a normal Friday. I was in a dark mood that day, so I wore a black, sleeve less T-shirt with a pink, glittery butterfly on it, black pants, and my black boots (if I wasn't walking home that day, I would've wore sandals). Let's see what did I do that day, hmmmm, I was sent to the office, didn't dress out in P.E., made fun of nerds, and, can't think of any thing else, oh well. Anyway, the more important things happened after school. "Hey, Kay," Miami said, "meet me at _Pizzeria _tonight, OK?"

"All right," I said, "See ya!"

"See ya!" She walked away in the direction opposite of my house; I was still waiting for my little bother, Simon, who goes to the elementary school next door.

"Grrr, where is he, what takes him so long?" I mumbled to myself. I was waiting for nearly half an hour when it happened. A giant vortex… thingy sucked me in and I was in a mass full of flying colors. I was so scared, I didn't know which way was up or down, literally. Lame sounding I know.

I finally hit solid ground after a while of flying or falling or what ever I was doing. I noticed that I didn't fall onto concrete, but grass. 'What the heck?' I thought. I then looked up and saw a boy standing in front of me, except it wasn't a boy. The boy had reddish-brownish, wild hair and wasn't wearing a shirt. Now here is the weird part, where the boy's legs and feet should be were goat legs along with a tail! One of those weird goat people in Greek stories! 'Whoa!' I thought. The goat seemed to think the same thing I did for he was staring at me in awe. "Hey, little buddy, uh, do you know where I am and how to get to my school?" I asked. He had a look on his face as if I was going insane and talking about the sky falling or something when I asked him that. His eyes went big and he took a step back in surprise. "Oh, hey, don't worry. I'm not going to eat you or anything," I said as I was getting up. He seemed to think I was. He then took two more steps backwards and ran off. "Wait!" I yelled, and ran after him.

Man that goat-boy was fast; I couldn't catch up to him. He ran into the forest nearby. 'Forest,' I thought,' there aren't any forests near the school. At least no forests like this.' The trees in this forest had that gnarled, haunted-woods kind of look from a Tim Burton movie to them. There wasn't a trail of any kind where I was running; I didn't know how that horn-head could navigate through here. I finally got to a clearing where the trees made a canopy, covering a long, wide trail covered with leaves. 'Finally,' I thought, 'now I can find that sheep or whatever it is.' There was nothing there, just me and the trial. 'What!' Then, in a blur, a fox came out of the trees. I thought it was the goat so I followed it down the trail. I didn't go long because I was out of breath. I then looked up and saw HIM (sigh heart).

A guy that looked a little older than me was standing there in the middle of the trail, staring at me. He was wearing the kind of black armor you see on the ninjas in those Japanese cartoons. He had a long, slender stick thingy on his back. He would have looked like a kid in school if he didn't have the armor and the stick thing on. He had short dirty blond hair that just about had a mind of its' own and a tough look on his face that looked more quizzical than tough at the moment. You know what my first thought was when I saw him, 'Dang he's absolutely GORGIOUS!' How stupid was that, here I am in the middle of a forest in a place I don't know about and I'm thinking of how hot this guy is! Oh well, he is hot though.

"Who're you?" he asked in a rough and tough voice.

"Huh?" I said in reply, 'That voice just makes him ever better!'

"I said who are you?"

"Uhhhh…I'm…I'm…"

"Come on, spit it out already, I don't have all day."

"I'm Kaymi. I'm kind of lost at the moment too, do you know where Winifred High is?"

"Great! Of all the times I had to run into a lost traveler. No I never heard of this 'Winifred High' as you call it."

"What?" That's weird, my school is fairly famous.

"You heard me, but if you want, I'll take you to the nearest village."

'Village?' I thought, 'There aren't any villages. Maybe towns and cities, but no villages.'

"Well?" he said impatiently.

"Sure, I guess."

"'Bout time, come on." He turned around and started walking off.

"Hey, wait up!" I jogged up to him and we walked together. We walked in silence.

PFf: So how'd ya like it? Good, bad? Which one? Please send reviews!


	7. Chapter 6: Halloween Chapter

PFf: Good morning, star shine! The Earth says hello!

Tasuki: That don't make any sense!

PFf: Oh, and I apologize if this chapter is past the holiday I intended, but, oh well.

Chichiri: At least you have it out so CF-san won't kill you. (glancing at scary looking CF) Scary, no da!

Tasuki: She's yer woman, do somethin'.

Chichiri: DA?! I am not! I'm her characters' guy, no da.

Tasuki: Whatever.

Chichiri: At least I'm not married to the authoress, no da.

Tasuki: Curse you, CF!

PFf: I agree, Curse You, CF!

Chichiri: They're going to be ranting away, so to just remind you, PFf does not own me or Tasuki or any other characters appearing in this story (except Bob), no da. Enjoy!

Chapter 6: Let's Cheer For Halloween! YAY!

PFf: (dressed in Faust costume) HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY!!

Tasuki: Man! I wish I had a scary costume to scare the shit outta those li'l kids!

PFf: You could be a vampire. Then you wouldn't need the fangs.

Tasuki: Grrr.

Chichiri: Or he could be a werewolf, no da. Then he has the sounds and the fangs.

PFf: True, he isn't as sophisticated as a vampire should be. At least he won't have to change his personality.

Tasuki: I can 'ear you!

Chichiri: Yes but there is a problem with all the hair, no da.

PFf: Aw, that's easy. We'll just ask Tai Itsukun to age him a little and he'll have all the hair he needs!

Tasuki: Har har, very funny!

Chichiri: Or maybe he doesn't need a costume, no da. He can just go as himself. He's scary enough already!

PFf: Never coulda said it better, my friend!

Tasuki: WILL YA CUT IT OUT WITH THAT!! I'M NOT THAT SCARY LOOKIN'!!

Door: (ding dong) _The wicked witch is dead!_

Tasuki: (goes answers door, stands there a few seconds)…PFf! It's for you!

PFf: Really! Who is it? (goes over) Gasp!

Jack Skellington: Happyy Hallloweeen!

Faust: Guten tag, PFf!

PFf: YAY! You guys came!

Jack: Of course! I'm the Pumpkin King; I have to be out doing my duty on my holiday!

Faust: Eliza and I bumped into him on our way here.

Jack: (whispering to PFf) Is he a new resident of Halloween Town? Usually humans are terrified of me. Am I losing my touch?

PFf: (whispering back) No, I think with him it'll take _a lot_ to scare him.

Faust: You're skeletal structure is so interesting. Can I examine you?

PFf: Uh, before you do that, let's go trick-or-treating!

-

(walking on street. PFf still in Faust costume, Tasuki a werewolf, chibi-Chichiri ("CANDY, NO DA!!") as Mickey Mouse, and Jack and Faust as themselves.)

PFf: YAY! This is great! I love trick-or-treating and candy!

Tasuki: (sees some little kids passing by) RAAAAR! (kids run, screaming their heads off, dropping their candy, Tasuki picks it up) I like it too, heh heh.

PFf: Don't do that to the little kids! That's mean!

Tasuki: (eating candy) So.

PFf: Bad Dog! (whacks him with magically appearing news paper)

Tasuki: (dog yelp) YIPE!

Chichiri: (in too much of a sugar rush to care if their fighting or not) YAY! CANDY! CANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDY!!!

CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! (NO DA)

Everyone: (sweatdrops)

Faust: Everyone, look.

Everyone: (looks ahead, big, giant, spooky, scary, three story house staring down the road) Oooooo…

House: Whoooooooooooo…

Tasuki: Since _when_ did things have lines?

PFf: Since the door had one. All the props and sets had a protest saying that they want lines too.

Tasuki: Tha's stupid! Their things! They can't talk!

Jack: Nothing new to me. There are lots of things in Halloween Town that can talk.

House: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

PFf: O.O I think we better continue the scene.

-

(everybody walks in giant double doors.)

PFf: It sure is dark.

Tasuki: I can light it up! (pulling out fan)

PFf: Yeah and _us_ with it!

Tasuki: I can aim!

PFf: What are you going to aim at if you can't see it!

Tasuki: Ya got a point there.

PFf: Chichiri, why don't you use some magic to help us see?

Chichiri: (eating small Mounds and Almond Joy bars) _Sometimes you feel like a nut, da! Sometimes you don't, no da!_

PFf: (sweatdropping) Forget I asked.

Chichiri+Tasuki+PFf: (eerie green light suddenly appears behind them) YAAAAAAAA!!! (Jumps around to see Faust holding Eliza's skull as an oversoul)

PFf: Good idea, Faust, thanks!

Chichiri: Scary, no da!

Tasuki: Relax, Chichiri. It's just Faust.

Chichiri: Faust, scary, no da!

Faust: just so you know, the door behind us is locked.

PFf: Of course it is. In any big, creepy house the door has to mysteriously close.

Chichiri: (sniff sniff) I SMELL COOKIES!!! (runs off somewhere)

Jack: Mr.Chichiri, wait! (runs after him)

PFf: Jack? Chichiri? Great we lost 'em!

Tasuki: Who knows where Chichiri went off to…

PFf: And Jack coulda helped us out in here.

Faust: Might as well look for them.

-

(Chichiri runs into kitchen, sees plate of cookies floating in midair)

Chichiri: GASP! COOKIES! (Jumps up and tries to grab them)

Mystery Voice: Do you want the cookies?

Chichiri: YES! Give me the cooooooooooooookiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeees! No da!

Mystery Voice: Well you can't have the cookies!

Chichiri: (stops jumping and looks up at plate with big-eyed, Puss in Boots look) But I like the cookies, no da.

Mystery Voice: You can only have them if you do as I say.

Chichiri: What d'you want, no da?

Mystery Voice: I want you to dispose of your friends.

Chichiri: I can't do that! Their my friends, no da!

Mystery Voice: then you have no use for the cookies! (poof, plate disappears)

Chichiri: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Mystery Voice: (plate reappears) So…will you do it?

Chichiri: I'll tell you if you give me the cookies, no da.

Mystery Voice: NO! I will not fall for that! Give me your answer, then you'll have the cookies!

Chichiri: No deal then. (starts to walk away)

Mystery Voice: No! Wait!

Chichiri: Then will you give me the cookies?

Mystery Voice: Hmmm…Grr, fine! Take them! (cookies reappear, Chichiri snatches them and starts munching away)

Jack: (comes in kitchen) Mr. Chiciri, there you are. Where did you get the cookies?

Chichiri: From Mystery Voice Man.

Jack: Really?

Mystery Voice: Jack? Is that you?

Jack: Bob? Is it really you, Bob?

Bob: It really is you! Man, it's been years! When was the last time I saw you, a year out of high school?

Jack: Yeah, it's so good to see you! When did you move out of Amtyville?

Bob: Ah, a month ago. The living got smart and weren't coming any more so I decided to move.

Jack: Still trying to kill residents?

Bob: Yeah, but you're cool, so don't worry.

Jack: Well, I gotta take the little one back. Be seeing you!

Bob: Yeah, see ya!

-

Tasuki: Man, this place is creepy.

PFf: too true.

Faust: It reminds me of the family mansion. (green light disappears, everyone looks at skull)

Tasuki: What 'appened ta the light?

PFf: Where did Eliza go?

Faust: (looks up and to the side, sees something) Eliza!! Wait, My Love!!! (runs off somewhere)

PFf: Faust! Wait!!

Tasuki: Damnit! Where's he goin'?!

-

(Faust enters big giant hallway, looking around for Eliza. Behind curtain is Freddy and Jason. Freddy posed as Eliza, just came back.)

Jason: Man, I still can't believe you did that.

Freddy: A dreamstalker's gotta do, what a dreamstalker's gotta do.

Jason: I still say I'm scarier than you!

Freddy: Are not!

Jason: Are too!

Freddy: Well this guy is going to prove which of us is scarier.

Jason: Fine, but I go first.

Freddy: be my guest.

Faust: (still looking for Eliza) Eliza! Where are you, my dear Eliza?

Jason: (suddenly appearing with machete) Prepare to die!

Faust (passes by him with out noticing him) Eliza!

Jason: Hey, I'm talking to you!

Faust: (finally noticing him) Have you seen my dear Eliza?

Jason: Uh, (lightbulb appears) I chopped her to pieces and you're next!

Faust: O.O ELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

(breaks down sobbing)

Jason: Finally! (is about to land a finishing blow on Faust until his hand shot out of nowhere and grabbed his neck in a death grip) GG! What the-

Faust: (slowly standing up, giving a harsh, scary glare) You will pay for what you did to Eliza with your flesh!

Jason: Heh, what can do?! GGH!!!

Faust: You regret crossing me!! I'm going to… (lots of terrible, horrible, disgusting, scary stuff he's going to do to him)! That's what I'm going to do, schwein!

Jason: (looking really pale behind the hockey mask) Y-you can't do that! I-I-I've never been stopped!

Faust: (right in his face) Looks like I'm the one to stop you.

Freddy: Guess this is my cue to come in. (turns into Eliza and comes out) My dear, what are you doing to him?

Faust: (turning to him while dropping Jason (Jason: OOF!), hugging him) Eliza, I'm so glad you are not chopped to pieces!

Freddy: Me, too, my love. (holding clawed hand up, ready to strike)

Faust: But frankly I don't care if _you _are seriously harmed! (inject something in him with needle)

Freddy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!! IT HURTS! IT BURNS!

Faust: (addressing to real Eliza) I'm glade you are free from that schwein's clutches.

Eliza: Thank you, my dear Faust.

Jason: Hey! You can't humiliate us like that!

Freddy: Yeah! We went to all the trouble to prove which one of us is scarier and you do that to us! Unforgivable!

Faust: (giving them a creepy glare) I think only one thing here was proven.

Freddy+Jason: U-uh, (gulp) what?

Faust: (pulling out scalpel and looking scarier than ever) Shall we examine them, Eliza?!

Freddy+Jason: (girly scream) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!

-

PFf: Hm? I wonder where those girly screams came from.

Tasuki: Who knows in this place.

PFf: What's with you? You scared?

Tasuki: NO! I'm not _scared_!

PFf: There's a girl ghost behind you!!

Tasuki: AAAAGGGGG!!! Where?! Where?!

PFf: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! That was so funny! HAHAHA!

Tasuki: Yeh, yeh, very funny. Look, there's a monster behind you!

PFf: Nice try, idiot.

Tasuki: Damn!

Phone: Ring Ring! Ring Ring!

Tasuki: Still need ta get used ta the things havin' lines. (answers it) 'ello?

Girl Voice: Seven days.

Tasuki: … (turns to PFf) What's in seven days?

PFf: Ummmm…don't know.

Tasuki: (back to phone) Uh, nuthin's in seven days.

Girl Voice: Seven days.

Tasuki: I think ya have the wrong number.

Girl Voice: Seven days.

Tasuki: Yeah, I think ya _really_ have the wrong number, so, bye? (hangs up) That was weird.

PFf: What was?

Tasuki: Some girl called and kept sayin'…

Girl Voice: Seven days.

Tasuki: Yeah, that.

Both: (blink blink) WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! Who said that?!

Girl Voice: SEVEN DAYS!

PFf: (looking around)……LINDA!

Tasuki: GAAAAAAH! Don't do that!

Linda: Yo.

Tasuki: WHOA! Where'd you come from!

PFf: Linda! What're you doing in this creepy house?

Linda: Why wouldn't I be?

PFf: True. Well, see ya!

Linda: See ya! (walks off)

Tasuki: Yer friend is so weird.

PFf: That's why she's cool!

-

(Jack and Chichiri walking down long hallway towards door at end)

Jack: This certainly is a long hallway.

Chichiri: Yup.

Both: (keeps walking, door is no closer)

CHichiri: This is taking forever, no da!

Jack: Too true.

Both: (keeps walking, door is still no closer)

Chichiri: (stops) I don't think we're getting anywhere.

Jack: Me neither. (looks back) I know we were walking at for least 15 minuets, so why haven't we moved even three feet from the door?

Chichir: Hm. (runs at the speed of light forward) It Never Ends! (runs back, past Jack, into door) BAM! It ends here! Ow, no da!

Jack: Bob! That you again?

Bob: Zzzzzzzz…Huh! Huh! What?! Oh, oh sorry, Jack. (door instantly in their faces)

Chichiri: That's convenient, no da.

-

(After many hours of walking around the house, the small bands of people finally met up with each other. During that time, the wolfman became a loyal dog, It is just as scared of them as PFf is of him, the Cookie Monster ran out of cookies, Frankenstein's monster can break dance and his marital problems with his wife are solved, Cujo is a vegetarian, Scream got a job as a telemarketer, Freddy and Jason work at McDonald's (employees of the week!), the headless horseman lost more body parts, and Dracula doesn't even want anything to do with PFf. All around…a good night!)

PFf: That was fun! We need to do that again!

Tasuki: Yeah! Ya got scared, though.

PFf: You do too!

Jack: Bob said you could visit him at anytime. Well, I must be going. So much to do, so little time.

Faust: We must be going too.

PFf: Yeah, see ya!

Chichiri: (normal voice, still chibi) That's weird, when did I get here, no da? Why am I dressed like Mickey Mouse?

Tasuki: Uh oh, I think the candy's wearin' off.

Chichiri: Candy? When did I have candy, no da?

PFf: I got something better than candy. (pulling out bottle of Mountain Dew) Ta-dah!

Tasuki: Good one! (holds Chichiri down)

Chichiri: Hey! What're you doing, no da?!

PFf: Drink up! (forces him to drink it)

Chichiri: (once done) RACE YOU, NO DA!!! (runs off in the speed of light)

Tasuki+PFf: (sweatdrop) What have we done?

---

PFf: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……

Chichiri: I think this chapter took a lot out of her, no da.

Tasuki: Let's wake her up!

Chichiri: No, no da! Anyway, PFf would like to thank Chichirifan and Linda for some help in this chapter, all horror movies, the play _Little Play of Horrors_, Halloween (of course!), and a little bit of _Over the Hedge_ (mainly Hammie), no da.

Tasuki: She needs ta learn ta sleep more.

Chichiri: Too true, no da.

PFf: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz…I don' wanna push the tomato cart…Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……


	8. Chapter 7: Turkey Turkey!

PFf: Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! (waving with turkey leg)

Tasuki: Hey, Chichiri, pass th' stuffing will ya?

Chichiri: Mmmm, this is good pie, PFf!

PFf: Thanks! Oh yeah, we were at my aunt's house for Thanksgiving (the real one) and we were so bored. The TV was on and_ One Life to Live _came on and we were talking about how funny and stupid soap operas were that we came up with a whole line of soap operas. This is it: "_As the World Turns_,I'm going to _General Hospital_ to see_ All My Children_ because they are _Young and Restless _and only have _One Life to Live_." See what I mean?

Tasuki: That was stupid.

PFf: Better than what you coulda come up with!

Chichiri: She got you there, no da.

Tasuki: Keep eatin' yer pie, Chichiri.

-

Chapter 7: Turkey Turkey!

PFf: Hey, happy Tukey Day!

Tasuki: (peeking in oven) Mmm, tha's smellin' good…

PFf: (whacks his hand) Not for you! Remember, we're going to your family's house for Thanksgiving.

Tasuki: (horrified) WHAT?!! NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAAAAAAAAT!!

PFf: (whacks him) Be quiet! And you're going whether you like it or not. (going back to cooking)

Tasuki: But I can't go! I already said I'd have Thanksgivin' with the gang!

Chichiri: I thought they were all going back to _their_ families for Thanksgiving, no da?

Tasuki: GGK!

PFf: Excuses, excuses. You should be glad we're not having tofurky.

Tasuki+ Chichiri: Tofurky?

PFf: Tofu turkey.

Tasuki+ Chichiri: Eeeew.

PFf: Mm-hm.

Tasuki: But still, I'm not goin'! There's no way you can make me!

Chichiri: Why not, no da?

Tasuki: Cause, the whole house is ruled by wimmin! My mom is a control freak, my dad doesn't do anythin', and don't get me started on my five sisters! Count 'em! FIVE!!

Chichiri: But they're your family, no da.

Tasuki: So? I don' like 'em.

Chichiri: I wish I had my family to go to for Thanksgiving, no da. (turning chibi and crying in a corner)

PFf: Aww, it's okay, Chichiri, you got all of us. (mumbling to Tasuki) Way to go, idiot!

Tasuki: U-uh, yeah! Besides, aren't ya supposed ta be havin' Thanksgivin' at Alexis' house (A.K.A: Chichirifan)?

Chichiri: Oh yes! AAH! I Was Supposed To Pick Up The Pie, No Da! I gotta go, see ya, no da!

PFf: Hey wait, Chichiri! Can you drop us off at Tasuki's parents' place?

Chichiri: Oh sure, no da. But how are we going to get _him_ over there, no da? (looking at Tasuki)

PFf: I got rope.

Chichiri: Good idea, no da. (both advancing on Tasuki with rope)

Tasuki: U-u-uh, w-whatcha gonna do with that, uh, rope? Guys? AAAGGHH!!

-

PFf: Thanks a lot, Chichiri.

Chichiri: no problem, no da. Have a happy Thanksgiving, no da!

PFf: You too! (Chichiri teleports away) Alright, let's go in. (dragging tied up Tasuki inside house)

(Note: Just in case somebody didn't read the 15th graphic novel, Tasuki's mom is, uh, large. And just about all of them have on accent (so that's where he got it) and his sisters are mean. It only showed one but she and his mom was mean enough. And his dad, well, you don't really notice him unless someone points him out and he only really says, like two things, so yeah. On with the story!)

Mom: PFF! Long time, no see! It's been forever since I've seen you! (goes over and hugs the life out of PFf)

PFf: (struggling to breathe) Y-yeah, me too!

Mom: (letting go) And how has Shun'u been treating ya?

PFf: Tasuki's Tasuki.

Mom: _Are_ ya treating yer wife good, Shun'u?

Tasuki: (freshly untied) Yes, Ma.

Mom: Ya better, if ya know what's good fer ya.

Tasuki: I know, Ma.

Sister 2: Man, ya didn't have any guts then an' ya don't now.

Tasuki: Whatchya talkin' about? I got plenty a guts.

Sister 3: "Yes, Ma. I know, Ma. Whatever ya say, Ma."

Tasuki: Shut up, ya son' know whatchya talkin' about.

Mom: KIDS! HUSBAND! TABLE! NOW!

All kids + Dad: Yes, Ma (Dear).

-

Tasuki: Wow, Ma! Lookit th' spread!

Mom: Don't just thank me, young man. Thank yer sisters an' wife too.

Tasuki: Bleh, I don' want anythin' th' five hags made.

Sister 4: Hags?! Try sayin' that ta my face, noodle butt!

Tasuki: No prablem, hag!

Sister 1: At least _we_ know how ta cook, stupid!

Mom: Shun'u! Since ya started this, _you_ say grace.

Tasuki: What? Ah, fine. Thanks fer th' food. Let's eat!

Mom: And?

Tasuki: An', uh, being here?

Mom: And?

Tasuki: An' having a place ta live?

Mom: _And_?

PFf: (whispering) Family.

Tasuki: An' family, yeah. Let's eat!

Mom: One more thing, Shun'u.

Tasuki: (fork close to mouth) What?

Mom: Having a wife? Ya can't ferget her.

Tasuki: Nah, I didn't ferget her. (looking at PFf) I'm always thankful fer her.

PFf: Tasuki. (mushy music)

Tasuki: Alright, let's eat! (record scratch)

Mom: Amen.

Everyone: Amen.

Sister 5: "I'm always thankful fer her." Aww, how _sweet_!

Sister 4: Who woulda thought Shun'u could come up with something like that?

Tasuki: What're you implyin'?

Sister 2: Ooo, he's trying ta sound smart. Been reading the dictionary lately, Shun'u?

Tasuki: Hey at least I'm hitched, ya bi-mmph! (fork stuffed in mouth)

PFf: Quit yakking and eat, idiot.

All sisters: Hee hee hee…

-

PFf: Well, that was our Thanksgiving, well the beginning at least.

Tasuki: (yawn) Man, tha' turkey's makin' me sleepy.

Chibi-Chichiri: Me too, no da. (big yawn)

PFf: Zzzzzz…

Tasuki: Guess we better finish this up.

Chibi-Chichiri: Guess so, no da.

Tasuki: Th' turkey was great, th' pie was better, go home.

Chibi-Chichiri: That about sums it up, no da. Bye, no da!

Both: Zzzzzzzzzzz…


	9. Chapter 8: Boredom Break Time

PFf: Yo, guess what? We aren't going to be in this one very much.

Tasuki: Yay, break time!

PFf: No! The FF7 gang sent us a tape and said we could watch it.

Chichiri: I think Cloud was the only one who sent it, no da.

Tasuki: Cloud? Nah, he's too uptight fer that. I bet Yuffie er Cid sent it.

PFf: No, Cloud did. His signature is on the note. (showing signature, a drawing of a fluffy cloud)

Tasuki: (sweatdropping) Tha's his signature? It's stupid.

Chichiri: Let's watch it, no da. (putting tape in VCR (it's retro!))

-

Chapter 8: Boredom/Break Time

(camera turns on, just see a blue eye, camera zooms out to see Cloud's face)

Cloud: (mumbling) Camera working…good! (to camera) Welcome to… (pulls out sign, puts it in front of camera) "FF7 Characters: Revealed!" During this segment, your host, myself, will lead you, the audience, through the house of FF7 to show you what we do exactly when we're not trying to save/destroy the planet. Since I'm right here, let's see what Rude is up to. (goes to the door, opens it enough to stick camera in)

Rude: (back to camera, a bowling ball polisher in front of him, sticks head in it for a few minuets, head comes out shiney) This should put Mr. Clean to shame. Heh heh.

Cloud: …So that's how he gets it so shiney.

Somewhere: Squeaky squeaky! ((Tasuki: What Th' Hell? Places Have Lines TOO?! PFf: Shut up!))

Cloud: Let's check that out, shall we? (goes to entrance of living room, Red is in there tossing around a squeaky rubber chicken)

Red: Thought you could get away from me, huh? (toss) Thought again, did you? (throws on ground, stands over it, speaking in Spanish accent) Hello. My name is Red XIII. You killed my father. Prepare…to Die! (grabs chicken, starts shaking it) Grrrrrr!...Grrr!...Rrr! ((Tasuki: Why…is th' dog talkin'? Great! Animals have lines too! PFf: Shut UP!))

Cloud: …Uh, right, let's leave him alone. I wonder what Tifa's doing? (slightly opens door to gym)

Tifa: (punching a large punching bag) Stupid men. (punch) All of them coming up to me "Der, where's Cloud?" "Der, where's Mother?" RRGH! (punch!) I Don't Freakin' Know Where Cloud _Is_ Half The Time!! (punch!!) Cloud. THAT JERK!! DITCHING _ME_ FOR _AERITH_?! HOW COULD HE CHOOSE A _DEAD_ PERSON OVER A LIVE ONE?! AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! (punches giant hole through the middle of punching bag and it falls from the ceiling)

Cloud: O.O Must be that time. Better leave.

Tifa: Wait, my Cloud senses are tingling. (turns to see Cloud tip-toeing away, sees camera, blushes)

Cloud: (sweating) Uh…Hi?

Tifa: **_Cl-ou-do…_**

Cloud: Uh, (in camera) We'll hold for a commercial break, folks. AAAAH! Tifa! Calm down. Calm down? Calm down! (camera turns off with static)

-

(camera back on, Cloud rubbing sore head)

Cloud: Jeez, she didn't have to do that. Anyway, who's next? How 'bout Cait Sith? (peeks in Cait Sith's room)

Cait Sith: (watching _Braveheart_) Beat those British, my kinsmen!

Cloud: (confused) I thought you were Irish?

Cait Sith: (angry) No! How many times do I have to tell you?! I am Scottish! Not Irish, you buffoon!

Cloud: (because of the heavy accent, didn't understand a word) Uh, yeah, I'm just gonna go now so…see ya? (leaves) ((Reeve: No fair, I'm not there! (Hey, that rhymed!) Tasuki: Whoa! Where'd th' weirdo come from? PFf: Both of you be QUIET! Reeve: TT)) Okay. Anyway. (goes to next room)

Reno: (playing _Guitar Hero_ (_I Wanna Be Sedated_), once done, gets on knees, hand in rock sign in air, head banging with tongue out) Whoo! Whadya think of that, Cuz?

Axel (Yay!): Hmph. I'm still way b-e-t-t-e-r than you. Got it memorized?

Reno: Fine, then you try it. (handing guitar over)

Axel: (picks _The Breaking Wheel_, puts level on "expert", plays perfectly, has highest score once done) Ooo, sorry, Reno. Looks like I just beat you. (puts name in)

Reno: O.o

Axel: got it memorized?

Reno: (pouting) Showoff. I wanna play _Crash Burnout 3_!

Axel: Fine, ya whiner.

Cloud: Such family love. (goes to next room, sees room filled with various candy wrappers and Mountain Dew and Big Red bottles strewn around the floor, room brightly colored)

Yuffie: (in middle of room, spinning and singing) _I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes!_

Cloud: (hand to face)

Yuffie: Beware, evil villains! The great ninja Yuffie is here! (does own cheering) I shall smite you where you stand! I will stop all your villainy! I wil, uh, make you quit doing bad stuff! (stands in hero pose wearing magically appearing cape) Dun dada DUN! To the rescue!

Cloud: (sweat dropping, closes door, goes to next room)

Vincent: (in room ironing huge cape, watching Martha Stewart) Man, Martha, you know everything ! (little puff of smoke coming from cape) Huh? Aww Gosh Darn It! Not again! (holding it up to reveal burnt hole, among others) Oh well, not much I can do now. (continues ironing and watching Martha)

Cloud: Uh, right. Didn't know he liked the Queen of Kmart? Well, now we know. (goes to next room)

Cid: (leaning back in chair, snoring away) Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…(SNORT!) ...Zzzzzzzzzz…

Barrett: (somewhere else) AH! Cid! Mah arm's goin' whacky again! Help! AGH! It's squirtin' oil in mah eye!

Cid: Zzz… (SNORT!) Eh?! Wha?! Aah, I'ma comin', ya big baby. (yawns, stretches, take time going to help a blinding Barrett)

Cloud: (sweatdrop) He's still too lazy. Well time for a lunch break. Ramen! Hopefully Aerith isn't there. (shudders at thought of Aerith's cooking, turns camera off)

-

Cloud: Mm, that was good. No Aerith. Anyway, here is the epic ending you all have been waiting for. What _Sephiroth_ does in _his_ spare time. Let's check it out. (goes up to door that has a flowery sign on it that says "Sephy's Room", opens it to peek in)

Sephiroth: (sitting in front of large mirror, brushing his hair, singing)_ I'm so **pretty**. Oh so **pretty**. And **witty**. And **gaaaay**!_

Cloud: I didn't know you were like that.

Sephiroth: What?! (turns to see Cloud) no, I'm not! "Gay" also means "happy"!

Cloud: So you not gay and narcissistic, just narcissistic?

Sephiroth: Yes! No! That's it, you dead! (pulls out long sword, breaking wall)

Cloud: Aaaaammm, you broke the waaaaallll.

Sephiroth: (in English accent) Shut up and fight, you pansy!

Cloud: pulling out own big sword, also breaking the wall) Them's fightin' words!

Sephiroth: (still in English accent) I'm invincible!

Cloud: (also in English accent) You're a loony.

Sephiroth: Come on then!

Cloud: Right!

Both: (start fighting while the camera is sitting on the ground, ignored)

Tifa+Aerith: CLOUD! SEPHIROTH!

Both: O.O Uh oh! HIDE!! (runs away)

-

PFf: Well that was interesting.

Tasuki: Very. Ta think, I thought those guys were cool, bu' now they're jus' plain out weird.

PFf: That's why, their cool!

Chichiri: Hey there something else written on the letter, no da. "I would like to thank Linda, for helping me with this idea, _Princess Bride_, _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_ (again), _The Simpsons_ (for the bowling ball polisher), and FF7, _Guitar Hero _and_ The Dirge of Cerberus _video games. I would also like to thank Axel (from _Kingdom Hearts II_) for his unexpected cameo appearance, thanks Axel.

Axel: No prob.

"We also thank chocolate milk, cookies, and Linda's "special" muffins, and good ol' boredom, couldn't a done it with out you, big guy!"

Tasuki: He sounds like he won th' Oscar Award or somehtin'.

PFf: Well at least now we know that he's not as "I don't like fun" like.

Chichiri: Very, no da.

PFf: Continue ta send us tapes, Cloud! And if any of you guys got any tapes (ideas) ta send us go ahead and send 'em!

Tasuki: Maybe we should do somethin' like AFV, have like a contest, on sommat?

PFf: Great idea, Tasuki! That's what we're gonna do. If you got a really good idea, send it to us via review or PM, and if it's really good, we'll put it in with a special cameo appearance by you! (Don't worry, all other entries will be added in after the winner, so it'll still be seen!) Now for the rules, Tasuki?

Tasuki: Any ideas are accepted, but if they don' make any sense, then we're gonna hafta talk. Please keep ideas PG-13 at th' least. An' please please _please_ no yaoi! Pretty please? Th' three of us are gonna be th' judges and we'll make our choice by these things: creativity, humor (or drama, if yer like that), entertainment, and originality. Tha's all, I think?

Chichiri: So send us those tapes, no da!


	10. Chapter 9: Christmas Chapter

PFf: (singing) _Joy to the world! The Lord has come! Let Earth receive her PEACE!!_

Tasuki: Damnit, does she have ta sing tha' loud?!

chibi-Chichiri: (eating candy cane) She's just enjoying the holidays, no da.

Tasuki: Yeah, well, she doesn't have ta do it so loudly!

PFf: _Silent night. Holy night._

Tasuki: Much better.

PFf: _ALL IS CALM! ALL IS BRIGHT!_

Tasuki: Aaagh! Tha's it! No more candy canes, cookies, and chocolate for you! (starts dragging her off)

PFf:_ Don't you cry, I'll be back again some day!!_

chibi-Chichiri: (being entertained by train around tree) Choo choo, no da! Whee! XD

-

Chapter 9: Happy Christmas and Merry New Year! Ho ho ho:)

(snow is everywhere, glistening all purty like, there's a cheerfulness surrounding the area, you can practically hear _I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas_ playing, until…)

SPLAT!

Tasuki: Ha! Gotchya with my super snowball! Ha ha!

PFf: Oh, yeah? Well I'll get you with my… (throws snowball, goes past him, hits tree) Arsenal From Above!

Tasuki: O.O AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!!! (big, giant pile of snow falls on top of him)

PFf: Yes! (singing) _I am the champion! I am the champion! No time for Losers_ (does loser sign on forehead), _cause I am the champion …of the world!_

Tasuki: finally digging himself out) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well now tha' ya won, what now?

PFf: (making snow angel) I dunnnnooooo…

Tasuki: (sweatdropping) Tha's no 'elp.

(Chichirifan and Renshi come by)

CF: Whatchya doin', PFf?

PFf: Makin' snow angels.

Renshi: Ooo, can I make some too?

PFf: Sure.

Reanshi: Yay! (falls on ground, making snow angel)

CF+ Tasuki: (sweatdop)

Chichiri: (running over) Hey, no da.

Tasuki: 'ey, what's th' rush?

Chichiri: I need a favor, no da.

CF: What is it?

Chichiri: Well, last night I was reading "The Night Before Christmas" to my kids.

Tasuki: Sounds normal enough.

Chichiri: The problem started _after_ I read the story, no da.

(scene goes all blurry and shows Chichiri and his three kids in their room, each kid in their own bed)

_Chichiri: Well that's the end, time for bed, no da. (closes book, tucks them all in and starts to leave) _

_Chikuma: Dad?_

_Chichiri: Yes, no da?_

_Chikuma: Is Santa Claus real?_

(PFf: Oh no, not _the_ question. CF: Well he is six; it's gonna happen sooner or later.)

_Chichiri: Of course Santa is real, no da. What made you think he wasn't?_

_Kouran: If Santa was real, and he really does land on top of rooftops with a sleigh and reindeer, then how come we don't hear them?_

(Renshi: Ooo, that's a good one. She's too smart for her own good!)

_Chichiri: Because you're too deep asleep to hear them, no da._

_Chikuma: No way! Kouran wakes up to the slightest sound. The dog five houses away would bark and she'd wake up!_

_Chichiri: Well Santa is good friends with The Sandman. He makes you go into such a deep sleep that even Kouran wouldn't wake up._

_Kouran: But you said that The Sandman wasn't real._

_Hayate: Reindeer, no da!_

Tasuki: Tha' sucks when they gang up on ya like dat.

CF: Okay, but what does any of this have to do with a favor?

Chichiri: Well, I kinda made a deal with them. So…

Tasuki: (thinking about what it could be, until it finally dawns on him along with the others) Ya _didn't_!?

-

(Christmas party at PFf's house:) Here's the guest list:

CF and Renshi

Linda, Jebus (he's awesome! XD), Senri, and Sephiroth (he's showing up a lot (sweatdrop))

Chichiri, Alexis, and their three kids (Chikuma, Kouran, Hayate)

Rest of the Suzaku warriors

Xiaolin and Heylin sides

FF7 gang

Straw-hat Pirates

Shaman King gang

Sanzo Party and Kougaiji's group

members aboard the Bebop

Jack and Sally

Caribbean Pirates trio

Kingdom Hearts group (including Axel)

Guitar Hero characters (including the secret characters)

rest of the +Anima group

various other people, including you!

(After the Christmas dinner (funded by Scrooge "Bah, Humbug!"), everyone is enjoying themselves, talking, when it was time to sing Christmas carols. Whee!)

PFf: Okay guys, what should we sing?

Renshi: "Twelve Days of Christmas"! _On the first_-

Everyone: NO!

Renshi: Aww…

Chikuma, Kouran, Hayate: "Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer"!

Sanzo: Oh god, anything but that!

CF: Sorry, kids overrule grumpy old men!

Everyone: (sings funny version of Rudolf) _Like George Washington!_ YAY!

PFf: Hey, guys! Let's do _Snoopy's Christmas_!

All authoresses: _CHRISTMAS BELLS, THOSE CHRISTMAS BELLS! RINGING THROUGH THE LAND!..._

Various people not singing: AAAAAAHH! MAKE THEM STOP! MY EARS! MY EARS 'TIS BLEEDING!

Linda: Oh come on! We're not _that _bad!

Random person: You killed Jebus! (Jebus pretending to be dead, Senri poking him)

Senri: ……?

PFf: Guess we better stop, huh? (watching Linda chase Jebus with Luci's pitch fork)

Other authors/esses: nod nod

-

(After everyone calmed down (and Jebus getting some nice holes in his derriere), everyone was enjoying some hot chocolate (Mmm .) and eggnog (Bleh!) and passed their presents to everyone)

Nuriko: (opening box, big make up case inside) Oh, Miaka! You shouldn't have!

Hotohori: (admiring himself in fancy, elaborate mirror) At last, a mirror worthy for my beautiful reflection.

Everyone else: (grumbles of disagreement)

Linda: (opening box) GASP! _Twilight Princess_! I Love You, Sephy! (tackles him and hugs the life out of him)

Sephiroth: X.X

Senri: (cute little happy face because he got a bouquet of little flowers) :)

CF: Gasp, _Get Backers_ Vol.1! Thanks, Chichiri!

Chichiri: No problem, no da. (admiring brand spanking new fishing pole)

Renshi: GASP! Life Size Kakashi, Tamahome, And Sessomaru Dolls! YAY! (hugging the stuffing out of them)

PFf: Taaaaasukiiiiiiiii…So, didjya get that certain game I wanted? Didjya? Didjya, didjya, didjya?

Tasuki: (getting creeped out) N-no?

PFf: Aww.

Tasuki: I gotchya _Ape Escape 3_ and _Jumping Flash 2_, though?

PFf: I LOVE YOU! (pounces him) I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON WE GOT MARRIED!!

Tasuki: (swirly eyes)

Nuriko: Aww, such a sweet moment!

PFf: So!

Nuriko: Ooo, look! Mistletoe!

PFf: (looking up to see mistletoe) Ack! Hey, who put that there?! (hiding Kouji laughing evilly)

CF: Now you have to kiss. (does evil Tomo cackle)

PFf: Bleh! No way! (pushes him away)

Tasuki: (still swirly eyed)

Jack Sparrow: Now the rum will never be gone! (holding up $100 gift card to a liquor store)

Sora: (holding up Jack Skellington's "gift") O.o

Jack: Isn't it wonderful! I wouldn't have thought of a better present for you!

Sora: O.o…Uh, y-yeah…

Riku: (poking it) I think it's still alive. o.O

Cooro: (looking at word on crate) Hey, Husky, look what I got! "Fra-gee-le". Must be Italian food!

Husky: (looking at word) That's "fragile", moron.

Cooro: Ooooo, is it good?

Husky: (hand to face)

Vincent: (taking out a picture frame with Lucrecia's picture in it from a bag)………LUCRECIAAAAAAA!!!

Reno: (holding a _Raising Your I.Q. For Dummies_ book) -.-…What are you trying to suggest?

Axel: Nothing, really. And look, it comes with a read-along CD! Now you don't have to hurt that little brain of yours too much!

Reno: At least Rude gave me a better present than _you_! (pointing at large pile of explosives and fireworks)

Axel: You are a pyromaniac. You must resist the temptation, Reno.

Reno: I'm as much a pyromaniac as you are!

-

(After much present giving, a bit more caroling, some more hot chocolate, eggnog, cookies, cakes, and the like, and an amateur impression of _The Nutcracker_ (Jebus, Tasuki, Ed, Cooro, and Luffy all got into the "special" eggnog. Lookit the sugarplum fairies!), a secret meeting was taking place in the kitchen.)

CF: Alright, Chichiri, how exactly are we gonna go through this?

Chichiri: First, we need ten people, no da.

Renshi: Okay, then we just need…(counting on fingers) five more.

PFf: (whispering) Linda! Get your guys and get over here!

Linda: (comes over) What?

PFf: Chichiri needs some help. All we need now is one more person.

Tasuki: Who's willin' to and can keep a secret?

Nuriko: (popping out of nowhere) Ooo, I wanna be let on a secret!

Everyone: AAAH!

Alexis: You guys alright in here?

Chichiri: Y-yes, no da! (after she leaves) Whoa, that was close, no da.

Nuriko: So, what're we doing?

Tasuki: Why should we tell ya?

PFf: Cause he volunteered! (bonking Tasuki)

CF: What exactly _are_ we gonna do, Chichiri?

Chichiri: I can't tell you now, no da. Meet me at my house at eleven. (going back to the party)

Tasuki: Do you guys git th' feelin' that we shouldn't a volunteered?

Everyone: (nod nod)

-

(The little group of people are in front of Chichiri's house, not knowing what they're getting into)

Sephiroth: Why did you drag me into this?

Linda: Cause PFf asked us to help.

PFf: I wonder what we're gonna do.

CF: I dunno but Chichiri better hurry, it's freakin' cold out here! .

Chichiri: (finally comes out) This way, no da. Stay quiet.

Everybody: (goes a little ways away from the house)

Chichiri: Okay, is everyone here, no da?

Renshi: Present!

Chichiri: Good. (teleported somewhere, comes back with fancy red sleigh)

PFf: Wow, where did you get _that_, Chichiri?

Chichiri: It isn't real, no da. I'm "borrowing" it from a mall Santa. Okay, now everyone get in lines of two with the last person at the top. (everyone does) Now hold still. (puts hands with index finger out together and concentrates) DA!

POOF!

CF: (cough cough) What happened?

Tasuki: Holy Crap! Tha's has ta be th' biggest deer I ever seen!

PFf: Whoa! The scrawny reindeer just spoke!

Tasuki: Where? Where?

PFf: The reindeer sounds like Tasuki. A Reindeer Ate Fangy! O.o

Tasuki: 'ey! There's no way I'll let a freakin' deer eat _me_! I'll turn it inta fried venison!

Sephiroth: Again, _why_ did you drag me into this?!

Chichiri: Shh! Everyone calm down!

Renshi: Wow, you got tall!

Jebus: Why do I feel weird and furry?

Chichiri: Take a look at yourselves, no da.

Everyone: (looks at each other) Whoa!

Tasuki: Uh, Chichiri, I think ya counted wrong. There's supposed ta be eight reindeer.

Chichiri: I'm not wrong, no da.

Tasuki: Then who's th' ninth one?

Chichiri: _You_ are Rudolf, no da.

Tasuki: What?! Why do I gotta be th' freakin' weirdo deer?!

Chichiri: Because you were the odd one. I did it the way it was in the story, no da. You were in the front, so you were Rudolf.

Tasuki: But I don' wanna be no Rudolf? Look at me, I'm a twig!

Nuriko: Ha ha, I got a bigger rack than you, stub head!

Tasuki: Shut it, Prancer!

Nuriko: It's Cupid!

Chichiri: Either you be Rudolf…(placing special light up nose on him) or you con be an elf. Your choice, no da.

Tasuki: Grr. (nose lights up) Moo.

Chichiri: Thought so, no da.

PFf: Aww, you look cute, Tasuki. Hee hee.

Tasuki: (still glaring, nose starting to make that whistling noise like on the movie, dogs in distance start howling)

CF: Hey, Chichiri, what're you gonna do?

Chichiri: This, no da! (poofs, turning into the perfect Santa, big white beard, twinkling blue eyes, and big, large gut, in deep voice) Ho ho ho, no da!

Everyone: Wow! Ooo! Awesome!

PFf: Wow, great job, Chichiri!

Chichiri: Thanks, no da!

Linda: You need to work on the 'no da's, though, or you'll get discovered.

Chichiri: Right.

Jebus: Uh, question?

Chichiri: Yes?

Jebus: How are we gonna get there? In case you haven't noticed, we don't know how to walk on four legs, let alone fly.

Sephiroth: _We_ know how to fly.

Jebus: Yeah, but do they?

Sephiroth: Good point.

Chichiri: Don't worry. If everything goes right, you may not have to fly. And the walking is like crawling.

Tasuki: (walking around) 'ey, yer right!

PFf: (kicks him with back leg) Hey, that was easy too!

Tasuki: OW! 'ey, don' kick th' runt! (both start kicking each other)

Chichiri: Alright everyone, line up, no da.

(Here's the line up so you get the idea:

Tasuki (Rudolf)

CF (Dasher), Renshi (Dancer)

PFf (Prancer), Sephiroth (Vixen)

Linda (Comet), Nuriko (Cupid)

Senri (Donder), Jebus (Blitzen))

Chichiri: Everyone all good? Now hold still, no da.

Tasuki: Uh, Chichiri? Ya didn't answer Jebus's question?

Chichiri: You let me worry about that, no da.

Tasuki: Answer th' damn question!

Chichiri: (concentrating really hard)

Tasuki: Chichiri? What're ya doin'? Chichiri? Yer not gonna do what I think yer gonna do, are ya? Chichiri?! No! Don' do it! Chichiri! CHIIIIIIIICHIIIIIIIIRIIIIIIIIIII!

(whole entire sled plus reindeer disappear)

-

(It's a quiet night, all is calm, all is not bright, until…)

BOOM!!!

(sleigh lands on Chichiri's house, quite ungracefully, lights turn on in house)

Chichiri: It worked, no da!

Reindeer: Uuuuuuuuggggghhhh…(swirly eyes)

Chichiri: I'll be right back, no da. (picking up sack)

Tasuki: Uuuuuuuhhh…ya basterd… (swirly eyed,Chichiri teleports inside house)

PFf: CF? Linda? Renshi? Ya dead?

CF+ Linda+ Renshi: Yeah, man

Linda: CF? You need to tell Chichiri to work on his landing!

CF: I'll remember.

Senri: Hurt.

Nuriko: That was fun!

Everyone: (glares at Nuriko)

Nuriko: What? It was.

Tasuki: Chichiri'd better 'urry up. I wanna go home.

Everyone: (agreeing)

(five minuets later)

Tasuki: (stomping hoof on roof) 'ey, "Santa"! 'urry up! We wanna go home!

PFf: Tasuki!

Tasuki: What? We do.

Chichiri: (popping back up) Alright, alright, no da! Let's go. Pretend like you're flying. (makes sleigh and reindeer float)

Renshi: We're flying!

Tasuki: We're fallin'! (sleigh goes down in front of door, Alexis and kids are there, waving, Chichiri waves back as sleigh flies off)

Chichiri: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

-

(It's the next morning, PFf and Tasuki are visiting Chichiri's house)

Chikuma: Hey, guess what!

PFf: What?

Kouran: We saw Santa last night!

PFf: Really? Was he nice and jolly?

Tasuki: And fat? (elbowed in stomach) Ow!

Chikuma: Yeah, and we got to talk to him and we all got to eat cookies and everything!

Kouran: And we got to see his reindeer, too! Too bad you didn't get to see him, Daddy.

Chichiri: (yawning) That _is_ too bad, no da. I really wanted to meet him.

Kouran: (pulling on PFf's sleeve) Guess what I saw.

PFf: What?

Kouran: I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus.

PFf: (sweatdrop)

Tasuki: So what did Santa git ya guys?

Chikuma: We got a whole bunch of toys!

Kouran: We even got a Wii, just like we asked!

Hayate: Wii, no da! (all run off to play on Wii)

Chichiri + Alexis: (have weird look)

PFf: What, guys?

Chichiri: I gave them all the toys _we_ got for them, no da.

Tasuki: Yeah?

Alexis: We never got them a Wii.

PFf + Tasuki: Then how did…

Chikuma: Dad! Santa left you a note. (handing it to him then running off)

Chichiri: (opens note) "Thanks for covering for me. Yours sincerely, Mr. Claus." O.#

Others: O.O

-

Chichiri: (passed out on floor, snoring away) Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

PFf: Wow, he must be really tired after using all that magic.

Tasuki: (drunk at the moment) Bah, humbug! Serfes 'im right!

PFf: (sweatdropping) Anyway, forget him. I would like to thank Christmas (of course), lame TV specials, the annoying _Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer_ movie, _A Christmas Story_, _Cool Runnings_, _Muppet's Christmas Carol,_ snow (I wish we had some (crycry)), _Dirge of Cerberus_ (again), the _…For Dummies_ series, _The Nutcracker_, Christmas carols, cookies, hot chocolate (Mmm. Even though it's too hot for it, it's freakin' 80 degrees out here!), cooperation with CF, Linda, and Renshi (You guys are the best! (gives them cookies)), Stariko for her many suggestions (gives her Tasuki plushie (Sorry I didn't put all of them!!)), and all the people who came to the party! Thanks, guys! God bless you, every one!

Tasuki: Ya talk to munch.

PFf: …Anyway, remember, the contest is still on so continue to send in your tapes! Merry Christmas!

Tauki + PFf: (singing) _Feliz Navidad! (hic!) Feliz Navidad! (hic!) Feliz Navidad! Prospero ano y Felicidad! HA ha! (hic!) I wanna wish you a Mery Christmas! From the bottom of my heart!! (hic!)_


	11. Chapter 10: Special Chapter 2

PFf: Hey, everyone! Sorry this isn't a new idea but I had to put it on by a reader's demand. (Don't hurt me!!!) So anyway, this is the second chapter to my real story.

Tasuki: So we're not in it again.

Chichiri: Please enjoy, no da!

Chapter 2 Zho

"Hey, I told you my name, why don't you tell me yours?" I asked.

"Because we're not going to be traveling together long," said the guy.

"Oh." Silence again, we were traveling for a while in it. 'Hmph, maybe this guy isn't as good as I thought,' I thought. I passed a tree when I heard something hiss.

"_Hissssssssssssssssss!_"

I screamed,"EEEEEEEEEK!" I don't do snakes, not since Simon's pet snake "somehow" got in my pants' leg.

The snake looked like a small python but the shape on its' head was weird. It looked like a skull! It was slithering toward me on the branch, ready to strike. "Oh no!" I gasped. I then saw a gray blur land on the snake behind its' head and felt something warm squirt on me. I looked down, blood! It was the snake's blood that squirted on me! I then looked at the snake on the ground, it was still moving even though its' head was chopped off! And it's head was still hissing like it was alive!

"_Hisssss! Hisssssssssss! Hisssss!_"

"Ah shut up!" said the guy, and knocked the snake out by bashing it on the head with the handle of his sword. Sword?

'So that's what was on his back, a sword!' I thought. It was a long slender sword, not one of those flimsy swords used by those people in those fencing classes but a blade sword.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Once I get over my shock I'll tell you," I said in reply.

"Heh, you should be lucky I was here. Skull snakes are no saints."

"Skull snakes?"

"Yeah, they can either bite you and poison you or squeeze you to death. The stupid things won't die though if they're blood gets on a living thing, instead, they'll suck the life out of that being until they're fully healed. That's why we need to injure this thing as much as possible to slow the healing process." He laid the snake out in a straight line and sliced it into pieces. "There, that should keep it busy for a while."

"Ew! The blood's all over me. Yuck!" I said. Ew, ew, ew, ew, EW! The blood was warm and sticky and when I lifted the bottom of my shirt an inch to see if it soaked through, it did. I saw blood smeared all on my belly. GRRRROOOOOSSSS! "Great! Now what do we do?"

"We have to keep headn' for the village more than ever now," said the guy.

"What! Isn't there a river or a stream or anything here in the forest?"

"Not unless you want to walk for miles and lose your life. Besides, the village isn't far and they have showers so you can take as long as you want there." Drat, I hate it when people make good points on things I don't want to do. Brrrrr, I shudder to think about public showers. Other people there, probably watching you and saying,"Ooo look at those legs, she really needs to shave them. Someone needs to kick off a few pounds. Ever heard of tanning, missy." Grr.

"Drat! Alright." We kept on walking at a faster pace.

Finally we got to the village, and it looked just as I suspected it would look, wood and stone houses. The guy led me to some stalls in the middle of the village.

"Well, here they are," he said.

"Those are the showers? You have got to be kidding me!" I said in a disgusted awe.

"Yeah those are the showers, and after you dress out, throw your clothes here so they can be washed." I stepped in the shower, luckily it was empty. I closed and locked the stall door, and (Brrrrrrrrrrrrr) began to undress. I threw my clothes over the side to the guy but he didn't go off with them, instead I heard him mumble something to someone and heard a girl's voice say, "Yes Sir!" He was standing outside the stalls with his back to me.

When I started showering, I asked him, "Hey, why are you standing there? Don't you know how creepy that is?"

"Because the three through ten year old boys have sick minds here. Don't want any tykes spying on you, do you?" he said.

"Ooooohh, good point." Oh that water felt good, it was at just the right temperature. I was actually enjoying it.

Then I heard some voices in front of the wall ahead of me, "OK, here's how we 're going to do it. We're going to hoist Gener up on the wall since he just turned three and hope she doesn't see us," said one voice. "Oh come on, is that the best you can think of?" said another voice. "Not unless you got any better ideas?" said the first voice. 'What the heck?' I thought and looked over the wall. There were four boys crouching there. One of them looked like an older version of Simon.

"Hey!" snapped the guy, apparently he heard too.

"Get out of here you little sick minded satyrs," yelled the guy.

"AAAAAAHHHH! Master Zho! Run!" said the four boys as they were running away. 'Master Zho?' I thought.

He caught one of the boys by the hair; it was the one that looked like Simon. "I'll deal with you right now, satyr boy," said the guy in a threatening voice and walked off with a struggling boy trying to get him to let go of his head. 'That was weird,' I thought.

When I was done showering, the guy, Master Zho I guess, was standing in his spot. "Here you are, Master Zho!" said the same little girl voice.

"Good, here's your cerine as a reward," said the guy.

"Thank you very much sir!"

"Hey, here're your clothes if you're done." He threw the clothes over the side of the stalls.

"Thanks," I said.

After a while I was fully clothed and came out of the stalls. "Ah, much better," I said.

"Good, now if you don't mind, I have someplace to go," said the guy as he started walking off.

"Hey wait!"

"Grr, What now?!"

"Why don't we do something together? I mean I don't know where to go and everything so why don't you tell me where to go?" I know, I suck at picking up guys.

"Fine, as long as you don't keep me from what I have to do. What should we do?"

"Well…I haven't eaten yet."

"Restaurant it is, then. Come on." We went to the edge of the village to a big, shabby house that had lots of smoke coming from the chimney. Inside the building it was like an old western barbeque place. There weren't a lot of people but there was a good number.

A lady behind a counter looked up and saw us, "Huh? Oh, hold on, sir, I'll get Eleanor for you." She walked into a back room and came out with an old lady following her at an amazing pace. "Zho, why are you back so soon?" the old lady asked.

"As you can see," he said and pointed to me.

"Ah, so you picked up a friend I see. Well then come come, we need to do some introducing." She walked off toward an empty set of tables and motioned for us to sit down. I sat at the table with the old lady and the guy went and sat at a table away from us. "Don't worry about him, he's stubborn and minds peoples privacy. So, what's your name?"

"My name's Kaymi. I don't really know where I am at the moment."

"Got lost huh? Well where are you trying to go?"

"I'm trying to get back home, well, at least to school."

"Really? What's the name of your school?"

"Winifred High School."

"Hm, I never heard of that school. What do you learn there?"

"Math, science, geometry, history, the usual."

"I only heard of two of those subjects and that's math and history. It seems to me that you're really quite lost. Oh well, I'm sure you'll get back home someday. So how long have you been traveling with Zho?"

"Uh…I must be dumb or something, but who exactly is this 'Zho' guy everyone keeps talking about? He must be important if people are calling him master."

"Ah, well," she said and looked at the guy sitting away from us, "that's Zho."

"What! No way, he's like, what 16, 17 or so, there's no way he could earn that much respect in so short a time!"

"He's 17, dear, and yes, he did earn this much respect in so short a time. He's actually quite famous. He's a demon hunter."

"Whoa, I've heard of vampire slayers and demon slayers, but they're on TV, not real."

"What! You never heard of demon hunters, where in the world did you come from? Vampire slayers, by the way, aren't the highest in rank; vampires have to be the easiest creatures to kill. _I_ could kill a vampire. Demon slayers are probably the highest rank you'll get, they are highly respected, but they only fight demons in battles and wars, never anywhere else. Demon hunters are what every kid wants to be; they're just below demon slayer but they're probably the most famous. They're the ones that go around killing traveling demons and monsters, while the slayers are sitting back on they're rich behinds. I bet you two cerines that demon hunters get more respect than slayers because they save villages."

"Uh, what exactly are 'cerines'?"

"This is a cerine." She pulled out a metallic yellow (not gold though) coin that had to be half an inch thick.

"Oh, say why did you say 'Zho, why are you back so soon?'"

"Because Zho was going after a demon in the forest that's causing a nuisance, Gorkun."

"Oh, so that's why he's was in the forest."

"You just keep surprising me girl, I thought you were traveling with Zho for quite some time."  
"If you call 'quite some time' a few minuets. Hey, don't mean to be rude or any thing but can I order something. I didn't have either lunch or dinner."

"Sure but dinner time hasn't arrived yet, it's lunch time now."

"No it isn't, it's…OH MY GOD! If I don't get home soon, Mom's gonna kill me!"

"Why don't you order something, it might your clear head." The menu here had some strange choices I never heard of: dragon gizzards? Pixie surprise? Boiled Griffin eggs? 'Where the heck am I?' I thought. There were also choices in a language I have never seen, yet I understood it, **__** (cooked swamp duck)

 (single sliced meat and cheese sandwich). **__** (flagor's specialty).

"Uh, I'll have the meat and cheese sandwich," I said.

"Ah, that's becoming a popular thing nowadays," said Eleanor in a thought-you-would-pick-that voice.

When the "sandwich" arrived, you wouldn't believe what it was. "You have got to be kidding me."

"What? It seems all right? Do you like this kind of meat?"

"Yeah, I do, but it's just…we have this kind of thing where I come from."

"Really? And what do you call it?"

"A personal, 8 inch pepperoni pizza."

"My that's a long name for something so small. But that is still a big coincidence, don'tja think?"

"Yeah, big coincidence." Oh that pizza was sooooooo good, the cheese was nice and gooey, the tomato sauce had just the right amount in it, and the crust was soft and crunchy, and the pepperoni was hot but not that spicy. That had to be the best pizza ever.

While I was making a pig of myself, Eleanor was telling me about the "region" I'm in. So far I learned that there are 9 "regions" (which I guess are, what we call, countries), and I'm on the "3rd region", Zalesiac. The money here is, in order of value are salens, fresters, gorines, jaken, cerines, doken, and smolls. Freaky names, right? That's all I remember, since I was too busy pigging out. "Mmmmm," I moaned when I was finished, "that had to be the best pizza I ever had."

"Glad you enjoyed it," said Eleanor in a happy voice.

"Think I'm stuffed now."

"What! You didn't even have dessert and you're stuffed already. My you practically have no stomach at all!"

"Yeah, my mom says I'm too skinny for my health."

"You done yet?" said a voice behind us.

"Huh?"

"Oh, Zho, 'bout time you joined us. You know you need to be more social with people," said Eleanor as if it were nothing unusual.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah so you done or not?" he asked me.

"Yeah, I'm done."  
"Good. How much, Eleanor?"

"Oh, you know it's free of charge. Just get rid of that nuisance and it's paid for."  
"All right, see ya later, Eleanor," he said as he walked out the door.

"Goodbye to you too," I said.  
"Oh don't mind him, he's been like that ever since it happened."  
"Ever since what happened?"

"Oh, I don't want to be talking behind his back about it…Why don't you go with him? If you bug him enough times, he'll probably spill it."

"Yeah, I'll do that!"  
"Then you had better hurry, he's a fast traveler."  
"All right, see ya, Eleanor."

"Goodbye, and make him talk to you."

'No problemo,' I thought.

Jeez, what Eleanor said was true, he _does_ travel fast. When I walked out of the restaurant, he was clear across the village. "Hey, wait up!" I yelled. The people here must have good hearing because he turned around after I said that. "Man you walk fast!"

"What do want now?" he asked.

"Eleanor said I should travel with you."

"Thought as much. All right, you can go with me but you better not get in my way. If you do, your head will be looking at your body from the ground."

'Gulp' "O-OK." 'Jeez, this guy can be scary when ever he wants to. Glad I still have my head.'

-

PFf: Hey again. Sorry about the weird little squares. That's supposed to be some weird font but when I put it on here, it turned into that. So, yeah.

Tasuki: Don't ya have somethin' ta tell them.

PFf: Oh yeah! Maybe, I don't know for sure, I'm going to make a new story. It's not going to be that long, maybe a few chapters. That's about it I think.

Chichiri: Tapes, no da?

PFf: Yes! I'm going to keep telling all of you over and over again to send in those tapes, so do it!

Tasuki: ...Think she's gettin' impatient.


	12. Chapter 11: Huzzah for New Years!

PFf: Hey, I apologize if this chapter is a little late to put up because I was being lazy, so please enjoy.

-

Chapter 11: Huzzah for the New Year!

(It's a little while before midnight, PFf, Tasuki, and Chichiri are in living room, PFf and Tasuki are playing _Mortal Kombat: Armageddon_)

PFf: (character whacks Tasuki off platform) Oops, sorry! I didn't mean to do that!

Tasuki: Yer not supposed ta apologize in a fightin' game.

PFf: Oh, okay. (beats the tar out of him)

Tasuki: AAAAGH! Quit Beatin' The Crap Outta Me!

PFf: It's oil. You're an android.

Tasuki: Whatever!

Chichiri: Hey, it's almost midnight, so let's go over our resolutions for the new year, no da.

PFf: Alright, I resolute to exercise more. Since I have _Dance Dance SuperNOVA_, I can do it!

Chichiri: I resolute to try to improve my memory, no da.

Tasuki: Shouldn't ya resolute ta not wear yer mask anymore?

PFf: Yeah, Alexis would want you to do that than remember your grocery list.

Chichiri: I'm still not used to it, no da. T.T

PFf: What do you resolute, Tasuki?

Tasuki: Nutin'.

PFf: What?!

Chichiri: There has to be _some_thing you want to change about your life, no da.

Tasuki: Yeah, but I'll get shot if I divorceher.

PFf: Hey.

Tasuki: Otherwise, nutin'.

Chichiri: Alright, any vices you want to solve, no da?

Tasuki: Nope. No vices.

PFf: Mm-hm. -.- (flashback time)

(Tasuki is sauced to the gills, on the verge of passing out, staggers inside)

PFf: Oh look, Macho Man is home.

Tasuki: (staggers up, puts arm around her) 'ey, did I ever tell ya (hic) 'ow much I love ya?

PFf: Oh God, dragon alcohol breath! And your heavy, get off!

Tasuki: Kiss me, I'm Ir'sh. (puckers up)

PFf: Bleh, no way! You're not even remotely Irish!

Tasuki: That's right! (hic, in accent) I'm Scottish! Ah wear those damn plaid dresses! (hic)

PFf: You're not Scottish! You're not even European!

Tasuki: That's right, I'm no…(mumble mumble)…Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

PFf: Ugh, heavy! (falls over)

-

Tasuki: (working on motorcycle, gets up and hits head on handlebar)

OW! DAMN PIECE A CRAP!! I'M GONNA FUCKIN' TAKE OFF YER FUCKIN' MOTOR AN' SHOVE IT UP YER FUCKIN' ASS, YA BLEEPIN' BLEEP BLEEP BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

People in neighborhood + houses: O.O

Boy: Mommy, can I have some bleeping candy?

Mom: Jonny!

-

(everyone playing home version Jeopardy, PFf and Chichiri have a couple hundred, Tasuki has $-500)

PFf + Chichiri: (sweatdop)

Tasuki:What?

PFf: Man, you're stupid, no da.

Tasuki: Ha ha.

PFf: You're not entirely stupid, though. Sometimes you're a freaking genius!

Chichiri: Is that even possible, no da.

PFf: Yeah, sometimes he stays up for days for no reason and after a real long while, he gets into some weird trance and then he starts acting like a proper, super smart gentlman! He doesn't even have the accent anymore!

Chichiri: You sure no da?

PFf: (pulls out Rubix Cube) See this? I could never ever solve it for years. He got ahold of it, solved it in three minuets.

Chichiri: Wow, these things are impossible, no da. Chiriko even has trouble with them.

PFf: I know.

Tasuki: (staring off into space, head drooping)

Chichiri: You alright, no da?

Tasuki: (slightly snapping up but going back down) MM! Yeah, yeah…

PFf: He's stayed up for five days now. Not even a wink of sleep.

Chichiri: Why, no da?!

PFf: I dunno. Ooo, he's gonna go all smart! Watch, watch!

Both: (intently watching Tasuki)

Tasuki………

Chichiri: …He's asleep, no da.

Tasuki: I am not asleep.

Chichiri: Da?

Tasuki: I feel livelier than ever. Oh, Jepardy. Such a dull game. So simple and uneventful. I would more prefer to pick a word from the dictionary and guess what the root of it is. Now that, my friend, is an entertaining game.

PFf: Told ya.

Chichiri: Whoa.

PFf: Hey, Tasuki, wanna play Tekken?

Tasuki: Ugh, Tekken! Such a preposterous, gruesome, and barbaric game! The makers of that game should be ashamed of themselves. They are the ones spreading the thought of violence throughout the world, ruining it. Children need to spend time doing more productive things like reading, writing, running outside in the sunshine…

PFf: And he'll go on and on.

Chichiri: That's amazing, no da. He's actually dissing fighting games, no da.

PFf: Yup.

Tasuki: Come friends. I hear there is an interesting documentary on the woeks of Shakespeare, including scenes from his plays. Shakespeare is so enlighten (falls over) ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

-

(end flashback)

PFf: No vices, huh? -.-

Tasuki: What?

Chichiri: Anyway, no da, other people sent us their resolutions, no da.

PFf: Nuriko resolutes to…

Tasuki: Hey, it's a minuet till New Years! (grabs champagne bottle, ready to pop it)

PFf: Tasuki! You interrupted me!

Tasuki: So.

PFf: You little…

Chichiri: (while they are fighting) They need to resolute to get along, no da.

Tasuki: Ten seconds!

All: (Counting down the seconds) One! HAPPY NEW YEAR! YAY!

Tasuki: (aiming champagne cork at PFf)

PFf: Don't you dare fire that me. You do, I'll fire a party popper in your face!

Tasuki: Then duck! (fires it)

PFf: (ducks just in time, cork barely missing head) That's it! -.-+ (grabbing party popper and silly string, starting to chase him)

Chichiri: (sweatdrop) New year, old ways, no da. (drinks sparkling grape juice)

Gir: (pops out of nowhere, singing) _Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! _Let's made biscuits!

-

Tasuki: (drunk…again) _Fer hi's a jolly good fella! Fer hi's a jolly good fella! (hic!) Fer hi's a jolly good…(big breath) FELLAAAAA! Tha' nobodbdy can deny! _

PFf: (covering ears) Ugh! Why is he drunk _again_?! This is the second chapter in a row that he was! Who gave him booze this time?!

Chichiri: Uh, no da?

PFf: Chichri. -.-+

Chichiri: It wasn't me! We didn't have any alcohol, no da! The only closest things we had to that was grape juice and root beer, no da!

PFf: Then how did he get drunk?

Chichiri: I don't know, no da.

PFf: Hm. Anyway I would like to thank New Years (especially mine), Mac (A.K.A: Linda, this is gonna be her name from now on), Raina, Jeopardy, _Mortal Kombat: Armageddon_, _Webster's New World Thesaurus_, Rubix cubes, party poppers, silly string, and all of the vices in our lives that we want to solve.

Tasuki: Whatcha talkin' about, Chichiri (hic!)? I'm no' drunk! I'm the designated drever (hic!)!

PFf: Well…some of us. Happy New Year!


	13. Chapter 12: Cranky Priests

Chichiri: (grumbling about something)

PFf: What are you so mad about?

Tasuki: Maybe it's because Sanzo's a priest an' he's not.

Chichiri: I Act More Priest-Like Than HE Does, No Da!

Tasuki: Whoa. Someone's PMSing.

Chichiri: Tasuki….

PFf: U-uh, go ahead and read please! Chichiri! Put the staff down! No chi blasting in the house!

-

Chapter 12: Cranky Priests

PFf: Hey it's been a while since we had any _expected_ guests.

Tasuki: Th' last ones we had were…actually, th' only ones we had was th' Heylin warriors and th' Christmas party.

Chichiri: That's right, no da! (Jack, Faust, and Linda were _un_expected, no da.)

PFf: I'm calling the Sanzo party!

Chichiri: What?! Why them, no da?!

PFf: Aw, c'mon, Chichiri. They aren't all _that_ bad.

Chichiri: Yeah right, no da.

Tasuki: Wow. Fer once Chichiri disapproves someone comin' over fer no reason at all…I wanna meet em'!

PFf: (getting off phone) They're on their way!

Both: Yay!

Chichiri: Bah, humbug, no da.

Outside: Beep beep!

Both: Yay, their here! (running out, Chichiri walking)

PFf: Hey, guys! Glad ya made it!

Hakkai:  Well, we figured we should take a detour to take a break. Then you called. Such good fortune, isn't it, Sanzo?

Sanzo: As long as their not as damn annoying as the two idiots in he back.

Goku: Hey! Hey! D'ya have any food? Do ya? Huh? Huh? Do ya? (PFf hands him bag of Funyuns) Mmm, oniony.

PFf: C'mon in, guys.

Hakkai:  We would have come sooner, but we had to bail Gojyo out of jail.

PFf: Why was he in jail?!

Sanzo: He decided to hit on a cop.

(flashback)

Gojyo: (walking up to woman) Hey there, babe.

Woman: Hey.

Gojyo: How would you like to come down to my place to "talk"? (starts leaning in)

Woman: Sure, but how 'bout you come to my place. (grabs his hand, twists it behind his back and slams him against wall) You don't don't mind the police station do you? (pulling out handcuffs, handcuffing him)

Gojyo: What the hell, Bitch?!

Woman: You're being arrested for participating in prostition, bud.

Gojyo: Damnit!

(end flashback)

Goku: Had to hit on the slut, did you?

Gojyo: Shut the hell up, monkey!

Goku: Why should I, roach perv?!

Gojyo: You don't even know what sluts do!

Goku: Yeah I do! They stand on corners and have guys like you take 'em somewhere!

Gojyo: That's not all they do!

Goku: They make out with roaches!

Gojyo: Quit calling me a roach, monkey!

Goku: Quit calling me a monkey, water sprite!

Tasuki: (whispering to PFf) Why do they call 'im a water sprite?

PFf: (whispering back) 'Cause in the original "Journey to the West", he was a kappa and you could say that's a Japanese water sprite in a way.

Tasuki: Mm. (imaging Gojyo in blue tutu prancing around with a sparkly wand, plastic tiara, and fake fairy wings)…Bleh! .

Chichiri: (with an obvious feeling that he doesn't want to talk to him) You aren't allowed to smoke, no da. You're a monk.

Sanzo: (with the same feeling) Don't give a danm.

Chichiri: You aren't supposed to cuss either, no da.

Sanzo: You cuss too.

Chichiri: Not as much as you, no da.

Sanzo: Oh yeah, you have a speech problem.

Chichiri: Daa.

Sanzo: Listen, you can be all holy, I don't have to be.

Chichiri: At least I act like a monk, no da.

Sanzo: A monk is not supposed to lie, either. Yet you call yourself a monk when your not.

Chichiri: I'm more monk like than you are, no da! (both glaring daggers at each other)

Hakkai: (sipping some sake) Isn't this just wonderful! We are all getting along and having so much fun! 

PFf + Tasuki: (sweatdrop, looking at Goku and Gojyo fighting, Chichiri and Sanzo's daggers turning into electricity) Yeah, fun.

PFf: (playing with Hakuryu) Awww. I wish I had a dragon.

Tasuki: Ya do. About thirty of 'em.

PFf: No, it's about ninty-five. Besides, it's not a crime to have one more, is it?

Hakuryu: Kyuuu.

Tasuki: (whispering to Hakkai) Ya better be careful or you'll lose yer dragon.

PFf: -.-+

Tasuki: (pouring Hakkai and himself more sake) Nutin'.

Mac: (busts through door) Sanzo senses tingling! Saiyuki senses overdrive!

PFf: Your senses broke my door!

Mac: I'll fix it later. Hey, are you using Sanzo right now?

PFf: (looking at Chichiri and Sanzo on the verge of brawling it out, sweatdropping) No.

Mac: Can I have him?

Sanzo: What am I to you, a fucking trading card?

PFf + Mac: Yes.

PFf: Sure, except it's more interesting and funny if you have all of them there.

Mac: True. Thanks! (runs around really fast and takes them all away)

Sanzo party: AAAAAAH! CRAZY LADY!!

Tasuki:…Yer friend's weird.

-

PFf: Yes! It's over!

Tasuki: Took ya long enough. Ya wrote this forever ago.

PFf: Yeah, yeah, screw me for being lazy.

Chichiri: You think the Sanzo party is gonna be okay, no da?

PFf: _You_ worried about _Sanzo_?

Chichiri: I know how your friend can be, no da. I do not wish that fate upon anyone, not _even_ the Sanzo party.

PFf: You think he's lying?

Tasuki: Yup.

Chichiri: Daaaa…

PFf: They should be fine. Anyway, since no one's sending anything, the contest is gonna last until I put in a new chapter. If you send an idea after that time, I will still use your idea if you wish…WAAAAA!!! T.T ONLY ONE PERSON SENT SOMETHING AND I WAS GONNA DO THE IDEA ANYWAY!!! (Thank you and sorry Stariko, buddy ol' pal!)

Tasuki: Can it, will ya?!

Chichiri: U-uh, until next time, no da!


	14. Chapter 13: Mini Chapters

PFf: Hey, these are just two oneshots I did that I put on one chapter. These are still part of the story, just too short to really make them chapters.

Tasuki: Get on wit it already.

PFf: Shut up! I'm explaining things to them! Anyway, for the next story, I'll explain a bit more after it's over, 'kay?

-

1: Kitty!

PFf: Hey, guys! Guess what!

Tasuki: Ya got a life.

Chichiri: You got normal friends, no da?

PFf: …No, why would I want to do that?

Tasuki: Then what?

PFf: We got a kitty! (holding up a little blonde cat with blue eyes and thick, spiky fur on his head)

Tasuki: It isn't some sorta possessed, magical, super cat, is it?

PFf: No.

Tasuki: Alright. Had ta make sure.

Chichiri: What are you gonna name him, no da?

PFf: I named him-

Tasuki: Let's name it "Cat"!

PFf+Chichiri: (atom fall)

PFf: What Kinda Name Is "Cat"?!

Tasuki: Okay, okay, we'll name him "Boy"!

Chichiri: You have no talent in coming up with names, no da.

PFf: That's why if we have kids, _he's_ not naming them!

Tasuki: Kids?! Nobody said anythin' 'bout us havin' kids!

PFf: Then quit talking! CF might get ideas!

Tasuki: AAAH!! NOOO!! (runs and hides) KEEP TH' WITCH AWAY FROM MEEEEEE!!

Chichiri: Now that that spat's over, what are you gonna name him, no da?

PFf: His name's Cloud!

Chichiri: Let me guess, Mac has a cat too.

PFf: Yeah, how did you know?

Chichiri: Let me guess again, she named it Sephy.

PFf: Gasp, how did you know? It's like you're psycic!

Chichiri: …Only _she_ would get you to name a cat "Cloud", no da. -.-

-

PFf: Okay, explanation time.

Tasuki: Where'd ya get th' cat anyway?

PFf: I was just about to get to that! Anyway, Mac and me were at a Petco. Why, who knows. Anyway, we talking when we saw these two cats sitting in the middle of the isle. We liked them and they seemed to like us, so we adopted them.

Chichiri: You two are planning something, aren't you, no da?

PFf: I do not know what you are talking about. Next story!

-

2: Winter Wonderland

(everything is frozen, ice everywhere, freezing cold)

PFf: Wow! Everything's frozen!

Tasuki: Whoooaaaa…

PFf: (sees icicle) Hey, Tasuki, stand under one of those and let's see if it lands on your head.

Tasuki: Hell no! I'm goin' inside, _you _can freeze yer ass off, _I'm_ not!

chibi-Chichiri: (sliding around on steps) You're a wimp, no da. There isn't even any snow, no da.

PFf: (spinning frozen water in water bowl) Oooooooo…

Tasuki: I'm not a wimp, I'm smart.

chibi-Chichiri: Since when were _you_ ever smart?

Tasuki: Why ya little-

PFf: C'mon, Tasuki! (takes hand, pulls underneath tree) Look. (the sun's glinting off the ice, ice makes everything white, everything is prettily sparkling white)

Tasuki: Wow.

PFf: Arsenal From Above: Part Deux! (hits tree hard, gets really close to tree trunk)

Tasuki: What? (bunch of ice lands on him) OW! What Th' Hell?!

PFf: Sorry, couldn't resist. (runs up porch, jumping over step chibi-Chichiri's on) Nya nya!

Tasuki: Grr, tha's it! (runs up porch using superspeed, gets on step chibi-Chichiri's on, slips, falls backwards)

PFf: Ha Hah! I am using nature against you as my weapon! You have been vanquished! (turns to go inside, slips and falls)

Tasuki: (laughing his frozen butt off)

chibi-Chichiri: (spinning while sliding on ice) Wheeeeeeeeeeee, no da!

-

PFf: This story is all thanks to the big, giant freeze we had not that long ago. (CF knows what I'm talking about)

Tasuki: All you were doin' that time was lazin' about.

PFf: No I wasn't! I was doing stuff!

Chichiri: You were lazing about too, Tasuki, no da. Seemed to me like I was the only one really doing anything, no da.

Both: Shut up!

PFf: Anyway, just so you know, this chapter will not count for the contest. I was told to do this to help complete a story, so this doesn't count. See ya!


	15. Chapter 14: Valentine's Day Chapter

PFf: (eating chocolate heart) Since I can't think of anything to put here, just grab your sweetheart and enjoy the story, 'kay?

-

Chapter 14: Cupid Shot Me With a Machine Gun!

Tasuki: …Wow! Fer once we get ta start th' chapter an' PFf doesn't!

Chichiri: Where _is_ she anyways, no da?

Tasuki: Who knows.

Chichiri: (goes to PFf's room, knocks on door) PFf, no da?

PFf: Go away! No one's here!

Chichiri: What are you doing, no da?

PFf: Hiding.

Chichiri: Why, no da?

PFf: I don't want Mai or Faye to find me!

Chichiri: Why don't you want them to find you, no da?

PFf: The Day of Reckoning is coming.

Chichiri: "Day of Reckoning", no da? (thinks for a moment, goes to living room) Tasuki, no da?

Tasuki: (sipping a Budweiser) What?

Chichiri: What do Mai and Faye have in common, no da?

Tasuki: They're sluts?

Chichiri: Besides that, no da!

Tasuki: Oh…I dunno.

Chichiri: No help, no da. -.- (gets address book) Might as well call them to see what's going on, no da. (flips through, gets to page, just about to call when looks at page again)…I think I found out, no da.

Tasuki: What?

Chichiri: (showing address book) They both have the same last name, no da.

Tasuki: Same as tha' Vincent guy too. What does tha' gotta do with anythin'?

Chichiri: What day is it, no da?

Tasuki: Wednesday?

Chichiri: Date, no da.

Tasuki: February 14th?

Chichiri: (pointing at last names) "Valentine", no da?

Tasuki: What does…Ah, shit!

Both: (shadows over faces, blue lines under eyes) Valentine's Day (no da).

Tasuki: Man am I glad th'-

doorbell: _Skiderin rinky-dink! Skiderin rinky-doooo! I. Love. Yooooouuu!_

Tasuki: We need a new doorbell.

Chichiri: Really, no da. (looking through peephole) Who is that, no da? All I see is this really big bag, no da…Oh, it's the mailman, no da.

Tasuki: Don' answer th' door! (Chichiri opens door) Damnit!

Chichiri: Yes, no da?

Mailman: Take this, please!

Chichiri: Sure, no da. (takes bag) UMPH! What the heck is _in_ here, no da?!

Mailman: (catching breath) Your's is in there too. God, I hate Valentine's Day in Animeville. (walks to truck)

Chichiri: (drops bag on floor, big boom) Geez, no da!

Tasuki: I'm scared ta open tha' thing. (looking at it like it will explode)

Chichiri: Oh no! I need to go home, no da!

Tasuki: Why?

Chichiri: I need to get there before Alexis gets the mail, no da! I remember last year's Valentine's Day when she found all that fan mail, no da! (shudder, runs out)

Tasuki: (looking at bag, cautiously reaches out, quickly opens bag, flinches, looks in bag, tons of letters, cards, candy, stuffed animals, and much more) Blah! .

PFf: What's with the pink frilly stuff?

Tasuki: Valentine's Day.

PFf: Thought so. Remember, you're only supposed to be with the people I allow you to be with and that's Stariko, Kaylee, and Amber.

Tasuki: Yeah, yeah. (digging in bag)

PFf: What coulda made that so heavy?

Tasuki: Tha's what I'm findin' out….'Ey! I think I got somethin'! (pulls out large stone heart) What The…

PFf: "To my dear, beloved, hunky (Hunky?), handsome, hot, sexy, gorgeous, awesome,…"

Tasuki: Get on with it

PFf: "…lovable, Tasuki-Wasuki! - From your girl, Jerusha." Jerusha, huh?

Tasuki: Damnit, not her again! Damn stalker!

PFf: Oooh, one of your stalkers.

Tasuki: "One"? There's more?

PFf: Oh yeah.

Tasuki: How d'_you_ know 'bout 'em?

PFf: Everytime I go outside, I always see all these fangirls trying to sneak a peek of you in the shower. I sometimes give them cookies.

Tasuki: Oh…What?!

PFf: I know, who in their right mind would want to see _you_ nude?

Tasuki: Why're ya givin' 'em cookies?! I feel so violated!

doorbell: _Can you feel the love tonight? The peace the evening brings-_

PFf: (answers door, slams it shut) We're in trouble!

Tasuki: What?

PFf: Nuriko's here!

Nuriko: (teleported inside with Chichiri) Hey, guys!

Both: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! (run to rooms, slam doors, lock them)

Nuriko: Chichiri, I'll need your help.

Chichiri: Alright, no da.

-

Nuriko: I was sent here to help your marriage problems. You can call me your counselor. (talking to tied uup Tasuki and PFf sitting on couch)

PFf: Was this your idea, Chichiri? -.-+

Chichiri: Tai Itsukun's, no da.

Both: (doom)

Nuriko: Okay, first let's go over your past relationships. Let's start with you Ta- (remember all the fanfiction stories) –aa PFf!

Chichiri: Nice save, no da.

Nuriko: Thanks!

Chichiri: Sarcasm, no da.

Nuriko: Anyway, how many relationships did you have before finding your true love in Tasuki?

PFf: Uh, I didn't?

Nuriko: You mean Tasuki was your only? That's cute!

PFf: No! I mean that I was set up with him. I didn't find my "true love" in him.

Nuriko: What about your other relationships?

PFf: My husbands go in this order: a street punk, an evil guy, bandit leader's best friend (the only actual cool, good guy), the idiot bandit leader, Ed (deceased, may he rest in peace (OC)), George (not anime), and then my friend recently married me to a smiley guy, a hybrid mutt guy, and a pervy monk.

Nuriko: No boyfriends?

PFf: My current boyfriend is an awesome ninja.

Nuriko: Mm-hm. How does it make you feel that she has all of these guys with her, Tasuki?

Tasuki: I don' care!

Nuriko: (pointing finger one inch from Tasuki's eye) Wrong! You do care! You just won't admit it!

Tasuki: I don' give a fuckin' damn!

Nuriko: These guys are tougher than I thought!

Chichiri: Told you, no da.

Nuriko: Ah, screw it! I'm doing this the easy way! Chichiri, freeze 'em!

Chichiri: Okay, no da. (snaps fingers, PFf + Tasuki frozen)

Tasuki: Cheater! Cheater, Chichiri! CHEATER!!

Nuriko: (pulling out bottle, takes stopper out) Bottom's up!

PFf+Tasuki: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

-

Nuriko: Well, I think that's a job well done.

Tasuki: (him and PFf are waltzing around living room, dips PFf) You are so beautiful, my dear. Like a sunset in a valley of trees.

PFf: Oh, take me, my love! (smooch smooch smooch)

Chichiri: …I think I liked them _before_ the potion, no da. This is just scary, no da.

Nuriko: Love Potion #9! The solution to all marital problems!

-

Chichiri: Uh, when is it going to wear off, no da?

Nuriko: Right about…

Tasuki+PFf: (still smooching away)

Nuriko: Now!

PFf: AGH! GET OFF ME, YA PERV!

Tasuki: PERV?! YOU WERE COMIN' ON TA ME, YA SLUT!

PFf: LISTERINE! TOOTHPASTE! LYSOL! ANY DISINFECTANT!!!!

Chichiri: They're back, no da.

Nuriko: Mm-hm.

(PFf: I would like to thank _Hee-Haw_ for the title of this chapter. Thanks!)


	16. Chapter 15: KABOOM!

PFf: (staring at monitor, hands on keyboard, on the verge of falling asleep) ………

Tasuki: 'ey, ya gonna do somethin' besides sit there?

PFf: Huh? Wha? Oh yeah…(falls asleep on keyboard) …Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Chichiri: …She needs to learn to go to bed earlier, no da.

Tasuki: Yup.

-

Chapter 15: Rata-tata-tata-tata-tatatat…KABOOM!

PFf: (waving Lego Yoda around like he's flying) Whoooo-OOO-oooooooooo… Neeeeeeeeeaaaaaaa…Neooooooooooooo…

Chichiri: What's with her, no da?

Tasuki: She stayed up all night on Big Reds, Livewire Mountain Dews, Sunkist, Hershey bars, Reeses, and Poptarts.

Chichiri: Why, no da?!

Tasuki: Somethin' about _Invader Zim_ marathon.

PFf: I love this show.

Chichiri: Uh…huh. Maybe you should get a guest to distract her, no da.

Tasuki: Already did.

Chichri: Whose coming then?

Tasuki: I dunno.

Chichiri: How can you not know, no da?!

Tasuki: I dunno! All I know was that when I called someone, someone weird answered and said they'd be over!

Chichiri: You don't even know who it _is_, no da?!

Tasuki: No!

BOOM!!!

Tasuki: What th' hell was that?!

doorbell: _Science fiction! Double feature!_

Tasuki: (answers door)…Uh, Chichiri…

PFf: (peeking sideways with cat face at people outside) CABOOSE! DONUT!

Chichiri: Who and who, no da?

PFf: (crying tears of joy) My bestest, bestest, _bestest_ buddies in the whole wide galaxy!

Chichiri: I thought I was your "bestest buddy", no da?

PFf: Everyone's my bestest buddy!

Caboose: Oo, oo! Look! He looks like some guy crossed with a cat, crossed with a fox, crossed with a rooster!

Donut: But roosters don't have blue hair.

Caboose: They threw in some blue dye. Now he's a chicken-fox cat-man! That's blue!

Donut: Gasp, I want to be a chicken-fox cat-man! Then I can put beads in my hair and look so pretty!

Chichiri: ……Da? You wouldn't happen to be referring to me, would you, no da?

Caboose: Gasp! Chicken-fox cat-man talks!

Chichiri: I'll take that as a yes, no da.

Tasuki: What's with th' pink armor?

Donut: It's not pink! It's lightish red.

Tasuki: In other words, pink.

Donut: Everyone says it's pink, but it's not pink! It's lightish red!

Tasuki: Yeah, right. (mumbles) Crackhead.

PFf: C'mon, guys! Let's play _Galaxy Monkey_!

Donut+Caboose: Wheeeeeeee!!

Tasuki: What…have we done?

Chichiri: Your fault, no da, not mine.

Tasuki: Shut it, ya chicken-fox cat-man.

-

(PFf, Caboose, and Donut are sitting in front of TV playing _Galaxy Monkey_, all in a trance until one explodes then they burst out laughing and continue playing)

Tasuki: Ya know, you probably wouldn't die as much if ya took yer helmets off, guys.

Caboose: Oooo, night vision! This is so cool! Everything's greeeeeeeeeeeeeen…

PFf: Oo! I wanna try! (pulling out night vision goggles) Ooooooooooo…(all three start looking around with night vision) Wow! Tasuki, even your _hair_ is green!

Tasuki: Take those off. Yer gonna hert yer eyes.

Donut: Oo, slime monster.

Tasuki: Who ya callin' a slime monster!?

PFf: AAH! It's the Hulk!

Caboose: I'll handle it! (pulls out big gun)

Tasuki: Don' shoot! Don' shoot!

PFf+Donut: Don't shoot! Don't shoot!

Caboose: Bye bye! (squeezes trigger, water comes out)

gun: squirt squirt squirt

Tasuki: AAAAAAAH!! KEEP IT AWAY! KEEP IT AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! (runs away with super speed)

All: …

Chichiri: (from kitchen) You want cookies, no da?

All: COOKIES!!! (run to kitchen)

Donut: Do you have any that begin with a vowel?

Chichiri: …Uuuuuuuuuuuuh…There's Oreos in the cabinet?

Donut: Yay!

Caboose: Idon'tknowhowlongit'sbeensinceI'vehadcookiesTheyaresogoodThisandice

creamIcecreamisgoodtooLikechocolateandchocolatechipcookiedoughHey!thathascookiesinitThatmakesitevenbetterIwonderwhocameupwithchocolatechipcookiedoughicecreamMust'vebeenageniuslikeEinstein Einstein'ssosmartHeinventedthelightbulbIfhedidn'tinventthelightbulbthenwewouldn'thaveanyovensandthenwewouldn'thaveanycookiesI wonderwhathisfavoritecookiewasMyfavoritecookiesaresugarcookiesbecausetheyhavesugarandyoucanmakethemintoshapeslike PlaydoughbuttheytastebetterbecausePlaydough tastesnastyandthesetastegoodIrememberonetimeImadeasugarcookieofChurchandshowed himandheateitanditremindedmeofthetimemycatatemygoldfishPoorBuggyhewasagoodgoldfishIwonderifgoldfisheatcookiesThatwouldbesocool becausethenIcouldgetagoldfishandwecaneatcookiesandthenwecanbebestfriendsHey!Cookies! (grabs one, eats it)

Chichiri+PFf: ……

PFf: I like chocolate cookie dough ice cream too!

somewhere: (staticy) Wreeeooooo…

Caboose's radio: Caboose, you there? Answer!

Caboose: Hey, there's a voice in my head that sounds like Church. Are you like O'Malley?

Church: What? No! I'm on your radio.

Donut: Hi, Church!

Church: Donut, that you?

Donut: Yeah. How's my team?

Church: They're as red as ever. Anyway, where the hell _are_ you guys?

Caboose: We're at PFf's house.

Church: Why?!

Donut: This guy called us and asked us to come over and we did.

Church: …What? Who called?

Caboose: The Irish vampire guy.

Church:…Wha-Forget it! Just get back here! Pronto! (shuts off)

Caboose: Awww, we have to go.

Donut: I don't want to go back! Grif's so mean!

PFf: Take some cookies with you guys. Have fun!

Caboose: Bye Mr. chicken-fox cat man! Bye Mr. Irish vampire guy!

Tasuki: What'd he call me?

PFf: Bye! May the schwartz be with you!

Caboose+Donut: May the schwartz be with you!

-

PFf: Whew, this one took longer than I thought. I'm tired.

Tasuki: Why'd I have to call _them_?!

PFf: I would like to thank sleep depravation, boredom, and sugar, the three ingredients for ultimate randomness. I would also like to thank _Ape Escape_ (for _Galaxy Monkey_), _Invader Zim_, and _Spaceballs_. The thing I give most thanks to would have to be _Red vs. Blue_, the awesomeest machima internet show ever. Thanks!

Chichiri: I think you better go to bed, no da.

PFf: Good idea. (rests head on keyboard) Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

(PFf: If anybody can read the ramble Caboose says, I congratulate you. Indulge yourself in cookies. You deserve in, soldier.)


	17. Chapter 16: Messed Up Moive Moments

PFf: Yo.

Tasuki: Why're ya right in front of th' camera?

PFf: I'm introducing the next chapter.

Tasuki: Ya don' have ta do it so close! Get outta th' way!

PFf: No!

Chichiri: (taking camera) Don't mind them, no da. They love each other so much, they just act like they're fighting all the time, no da. In fact, one time I caught them in a room and they were-

PFf+Tasuki: CHICHIRI!! (tackles him)

Chichiri: AAH! Tell the world, no da! It's up to you, no da! (camera shuts off with static)

-

Chapter 16: Messed Up Movie Moments Caused By Boredom

PFf: ………………I'm bored.

Tasuki: Me too.

Chichiri: Me three, no da.

PFf: I wish something will happen so it won't be so boring.

Dougan: (breaks through door, dressed in dominatrix costume with fishnet hose, high heels, bright red lipstick, and blue eyeshadow, dressed as Frank N. Furter, singing) _I'm just a sweet transvestite! From Transexual Transylvania! Ha ha!_

All: ……O.O

Tasuki: I dunno 'bout you guys, but I'm really scared right now. O.O

Chichiri: What…the hell…is _that_, no da? O.#

PFf: A scary Frank N. Furter impersonator? O.O

Dougan: _So let me show you around, maybe play you a sound, you look like you're both pretty groovy-_

Tasuki: ……REKKA SHIN'EN!

fan: Bwooooooooosh!

Dougan: AAAAH! TELL SANZO THAT I LOVE HIM! BINGO BINGOOOOOOOO! (disappears)

PFf: Tasuki, thank you! I give you permission to get as drunk as you possibly can.

Tasuki: Hell yeah! Yess! (runs to kitchen)

PFf: That gives me an idea!

Chichiri: What, no da?

PFf: I'm gonna get different moments in movies and screw them up!

Chichiri: Like they do with _Scary Movie_ and _Epic Movie_, no da?

PFf: Yeah but not quite like that. Okay, let's start with…_Star Wars_!

Chichiri: But everyone makes fun of _Star Wars_, no da.

PFf: So!

-

(They just got Aniken and are aboard the big…shiny…ship thingy)

Padme: Hey, Aniken.

Aniken: Hey.

Padme: Come here.

Aniken: Why?

Padme: Just come here.

Aniken: (goes over) What?

Padme: (starts making out with him)

Aniken: AAH! What're you doing?!

Padme: Don't worry, I don't have STDs.

Aniken: What the heck are STDs?! Stop!! I'm freakin' eleven for crying out loud!

Padme: I'm 22. Isn't that perfect?

Aniken: AAAGH! Jarjar, help me!

Jarjar: Oooo, you-sa doing naughty naughty-sa.

Aniken: Get her off of me!

Jarjar: Me-sa scared she will do that to me-sa.

Aniken: Stupid amphibian!

R2D2: Beep beep bi boop.

random Wookie: (running across screen) RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!

Darth Vader: Luke, I am, your father.

Aniken: My name's not Luke, I don't have a father, and get this crazy lady off of me!

Darth Vader: Hey, you're me! That's so cool! Hey, dude, bit of advice. If you decide to get a cool costume, get one that you can breathe easier in. Either that or get an oxygen tank. But if you do that don't let someone switch it out with helium. And bond with your future son. That'll bite you in the butt later.

Aniken: I'm gonna have a kid?!

Darth Vader: Yeah, with Padme.

Aniken: What?!

Padme: Yay!

Yoda: (appears out of nowhere, holds up hand in Spock sign (even though he only has three fingers) Prosper, may you live.

Obiwan: Master Yoda? What are _you_ doing here?

Yoda: Turn all of you into Legos, I will. Boom-shakalakaaaa! (turns everyone into Legos)

random Wookie: (running across other side of screen) RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!

-

Chichiri: …………Uh, yeah…

PFf: What?

Chichiri: I got something better, no da.

-

(The Scotts are ready for battle, painted and in kilts, feelin' the breeze. The British are on the other side, also ready. Right before Mel Gibson yells "CHARGE!", he is replaced with a slightly drunk Tasuki (in Mel's costume))

Tasuki: What? Where th' hell am I?

Scott 1: Shouldn't we charge?

Tasuki: Wha? What th' hell're ya talkin' 'bout?

Scott 2: To defeat those damned Brits! Remember, "Freedom!"?

Tasuki: Uh, oh yeah. Uh, why is it so…I dunno…breezy?

Scott 1: That would be th' kilt.

Tasuki: …Ah.

Scott 2: What should we do? The Brits are about to charge!

Tasuki: Damn, an' I was jus' getting' a good buzz. 'Ey, d'ya guys have any whiskey?

Scott 1: Yes.

Tasuki: (suddenly invigorated) Alrigh'! Let's Charge! Ta Th' WHISKEY!

Scotts: Th' WHISKEY! (runs off to drink whiskey)

-

PFf: Good one!

Chichiri: (looking in kitchen) Uh, PFf?

PFf: What?

Chichiri: Tasuki isn't here, no da.

PFf: Where'd he go?

Tasuki: (still in Scotland) Freedom ta drink!

PFf: Oh well. Uh, let's see…How about…Soap operas!

Chichiri: What? But there isn't any soap opera movies, no da.

PFf: So?

Chichiri: Whatever, no da.

evil Bakura: Hello.

PFf: Bakura, what're you doing here?

Bakura: I decided to come down and visit you.

PFf: Aww…

Bakura: It was either that or listening to Kaiba call CF over and over.

-

CF: (just got home, checking answering machine)

answering machine: Hurry up and leave a message. Beep!

Kaiba: Hey, CF, you want to come by later? I got some _Legal Drug_ books you can read. (Beep!)

Kaiba: Hi CF, would you mind watching Mokuba for me? I need to go to a meeting and I don't want him getting kidnapped again. Thanks! (Beep!)

Kaiba: Hi CF,-

CF: (turns off answering machine) I'm glad I didn't stay with him.

-

PFf: I don't blame you.

Bakura: So what are we doing?

PFf: We're going to make fun of soap operas.

Bakura: Sounds fun.

PFf: Right then.

-

PFf: How could you betray me like that, Tasuki?!

Tasuki: (fresh from Scotland) Whoa, when did I get here?

PFf: Just now. Now play along! Ahem. How could you betray me like that, Tasuki?!

Tasuki: What're ya talkin' about? I didn't betray ya.

PFf: You did! How could you? You lied to me!

Tasuki: How can ya say that? I wouldn't do that.

PFf: Yes you did! I told you to get donuts (dramatic pause) …but you got _bagels_ instead! (sobsobsob)

Tasuki: Those're bagels? Really? They look like donuts ta me.

PFf: You mean your eyesight sucks?

Tasuki: Yes.

PFf: Oh let's pretend to do a small make out scene and I'll get mysteriously pregnant and we'll argue about whose baby it is.

Tasuki: Alrigh'.

(elsewhere)

Bakura: I will not allow you to ruin their relation ship, Wes!

Chichiri: (no mask, wearing eyepatch over scarred eye) Ha ha, there is nothing that will stop me from getting back to her, no da! Ha ha! Ha…uh, ha!

Bakura: Shouldn't we switch the roles?

Chichiri: Why, no da?

Bakura: No offense to you, but, you're not exactly a good bad guy. This guy is supposed to be overly obsessed with her. And you only consider her a friend.

Chichiri: Mmmm…Okay, no da. (gives eyepatch to him, puts mask back on, getting into fighting pose) I will not allow you to ruin their relationship, no da! They just had counseling!

Bakura: (putting on eyepatch) H-heh heh heh. HA HA HA HA HAAA!

You fool! There is nothing that will stop me from getting her back! Your efforts are futile! H-ha ha ha ha ha!

Chichiri: You're good, no da.

Bakura: Like wise.

(elsewhere)

Tasuki: Uh, why're we at th' hospital?

PFf: I dunno.

Doctor: Jonny just died!

PFf: NOOOOOOOO! JOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYY!

Tasuki: Ya don' know th' guy.

PFf: Oh, yeah.

Bakura: (appears out of nowhere) I am here to take you away, PFf!

Tasuki: Bakura? When'd ya get here?

Bakura: While you were in Scotland. Anyway, I'm here to take you away, PFf!

PFf: This is more boring then I thought. Let's play mini golf.

All: Alright. Okay. (goes play mini golf)

random Wookie: (runs half way to screen) RAAAAAR! (stops, holds up sign that says "This chapter was a result of boredom. Lifesaver was here.", puts sign down, runs to other side of the screen) RAAAAAAAR!

-

PFf: Wow. I was really bored.

Tasuki: aren't ya all th' time?

PFf: Yeah, but more so this time.

Chichiri: (tied to chair, gagged) Mmmmf-mmf!

PFf: I would like to thank the moments in movies everyone waits to be made fun of, _Star Wars_, _Braveheart_, soap operas (and all of their cheesy goodness), Mac for helping with the _Star Wars_ scene and giving me the idea of the Dougan/Rocky Horror scene, Jonny (the kid that seems to always be there), Chewbacca's cousin, Lifesaver, for being the random Wookie. Say hi, Lifesaver.

Lifesaver: Grrr raar!

PFf: And mainly me not having anything to do in school because I ran out of things to read and not having anything else to entertain myself with. Thank you!

Tasuki: Man, ya still talk too much. Why don' ya jus' say "Thanks ta all th' people who helped me with this chapter"?

PFf: Because not only people helped me with this chapter.

Tasuki: Tha's stupid.

PFf: You're stupid.

Chichiri: (still tied up) Mmmmf!


	18. Chapter 17: Mini Chapters 2

PFf: (holding Cloud) I feel so bad. I need to put Cloud in the chapters more often.

Tasuki: Why?

PFf: 'Cause, I had him for a few weeks now and he's not even in any of the new chapters.

Tasuki: Tha's not a problem. He's stayin' character.

Chichiri: For once he's got a point, no da. The real Cloud isn't all that social, no da.

Tasuki: Yeah, unless he has a chance ta get another funny video on Youtube.

PFf: You guys have a point, Cloud does run away every time someone comes over, so I guess it's alright.

Tasuki: Course with all th' friends you have over, I don' blame 'im.

PFf: Shut up.

-

3: Reacquainted

PFf: I wonder what the Sanzo party's doing.

Tasuki: Goin' west.

PFf: Besides that! Man, I wish they would come back, they didn't stay very long.

Chichiri: I don't, no da.

outside: Beep beep!

PFf: Yay!

Hakkai: Hey, we decided to come back and hopefully stay longer. :)

Goku: Hey, d'ya guys have any food?

Gojyo: Again with the food? What happened to the food from Mac's house?

Goku: I ate it.

Gojyo: What?!

Goku: I was hungry.

Gojyo: You're always hungry!

Hakkai: Since their fighting again, let's have a drink, shall we?

Tasuki: Now yer talkin' my language!

Hakkai: (pouring sake) :) So I take it you like to drink too, huh?

Tasuki: Hell yeah! I love ta drink!

Hakkai: How interesting. I do too.

Tasuki: Really? See, PFf, I'm not th' only one!

PFf: Since both of you like to drink, why don't you guys have a drinking contest?

Chichiri: Oh God, a drinking contest, no da?!

PFf: Why not? It'd be funny! (whispering) Besides, if they do a drinking contest, Tasuki won't have any liquor left.

Chichiri: Ah. Carry on then, no da.

Gojyo: How well can he hold his liquor?

PFf: I don't know for sure. All I know is that he's the heaviest drinker out of all of us. He made the AA workers into alcholics.

Sanzo: Moron.

Hakkai: Shall we get started then:)

Tasuki: Yeah!

(10 bottles later)

Tasuki: 'ey, ya still doin' good.

Hakkai: Like wise. :)

(20 bottles later)

Tasuki: Ya gettin' a buzz yet?

Hakkai: No, you?

Tasuki: A bit.

(30 bottles later)

Tasuki: (slurring) Keep 'em comin'!

Hakkai: My this is turning out interesting. :)

(40 bottles later)

Hakkai: You look totally smashed. :)

Tasuki: (_completely _drunk) Ah, shaddup! Why aren't ya drunk yet? We had…(attempting to count on fingers) …a bajillion!

Hakkai: Actually we only had 100 bottles each. And I just started getting a good buzz going. :)

PFf: Dang, it taked 100 bottles of sake to give Hakkai a buzz!

Chichiri: I never thought that was possible, no da!

Gojyo: I wonder if we're actually going to see Hakkai drunk.

PFf: No.

Gojyo: Why?

PFf: We're only down to six bottles.

Chichiri: I'm surprised Tasuki's lasted this long, no da.

PFf: Not as much for me.

Goku: Why?

PFf: Tasuki's brain is a rock. And it must be a small rock 'cause there's lots of air in hiss head. All in all, if he sets his mind on something, he won't stop. He's like a wound up car against a wall.

Tasuki: (singing in background) _Fuck you I'm drunk! Fuck you I'm drunk! Pour my drink down the sink I got more in the trunk!_

Goku: Man, what an idiot.

Gojyo: Hey, Goku! We found another guy whose brain has no wrinkles either!

Soku: Shut up, cockroach!

Sanzo: Both of you shut up!

(one bottle later)

Tasuki: (passed out) Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Hakkai: Aw, I was hoping he would have lasted a little longer. I was just starting to get a little drunk. :)

Gojyo: Well, I know who to bet for next time there's a drinking contest.

PFf: You want the rest, Hakkai?

Hakkai: No, that's alright. :)

PFf: Please, take it. Do us all a favor.

Gojyo: Okay! (takes bottles)

Sanzo: Let's go.

PFf: See ya! (after they leave) What should we do with the lump?

Chichiri: His drooling will be bad for the table, no da. Let's take him to his room, no da. (start carrying Tasuki to his room)

Tasuki: I'll beat 'im. I'll beat tha' damn whatever he is tha' smiles way too much like he's in some damn tooth paste commercial!

-

PFf: That was interesting.

Tasuki: (singing again) _Fuck you I'm drunk! Fuck you I'm drunk! And I'll be drunk until th' next time I'm drunk!_

Chichiri: That's a promise he's willing to keep, no da.

-

4: Scary

PFf: I had the scariest dream last night. I don't even like the show it was about.

Chichiri: What was it, no da?

Tasuki: (walking out) I'm outta here.

Chichiri: Why, no da?

Tasuki: 'Cause, ever since she saw Rocky Horror, her dreams are either really weird or really scary, so, I'm outta here. (walks off)

PFf: …You still wanna know?

Chichiri: Uh, sure, no da.

-

NEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOO…BOOM!

(A destroyed city, some alien, dude, thing…y?, whatever, is beat up on the ground)

Goku: (DBZ Goku, still flying) Ha, another, uh, whatever you are, is down. (looks at watch) AAH! I'm late for my appointment! (flies away)

-

Goku: (charges through door like they do in westerns) I'm here!

Piccolo: 'Bout time. I almost canceled your appointment. (gestures to the barber's chair where they wash your hair) Please, sit down.

Goku: (sits down, does long sigh) This is _so _much better. I should do this more often.

Piccolo: (washing hair) You should. You know what I said about rubble, blood, and whatnot is bad for your hair! And you guys turning into super Saiyans constantly isn't helping either.

Goku: That's why we have you, Piccolo, you're a lifesaver. You have no idea how bad my hair would be without you. People wouldn't be talking about how cool our moves were; instead they'll be talking about how awful I look.

Piccolo: You look fine. Now sit under the dryer.

Goku: (sits down) Hey, Vegita.

Vegita: (reading magazine) Hey.

Goku: Whatcha readin'?

Vegita: Check this out. (shows him picture)

Goku: Who is it?

Vegita: Mr. Universe, can you believe it?

Goku: Oh please, even _your_ muscles are bigger than his.

Vegita: What are you saing?!

Goku: I'm just saying he's a noodle, that's all!

Vegita: (crying) You hurt my feelings! It's not _my_ fault my muscles aren't huge!

Goku: Aww, Vegita, don't cry. How 'bout this, after we're done here, let's go down to the Starbuck's and get a mocha latte. How's that?

Vegita: (sniffsniff) Okay. You're such a good brother.

(10 minuets later)

Goku: Oh yeah!! At least _I_ don't have a receding hairline! Huh, Baldy!

Vegita: The nerve! At least _I _only have one kid that I know of! You seem to have kids popping out of nowhere!

Piccolo: It's bad for business if they keep fighting like that.

Kirririn: (sweeping hair) What'd you expect! The steroids they take turned their brains into mush.

-

Chichiri: …Okay, no da.

PFf: Weird, right?

Chichiri: You got that right, no da.

PFf: Now I know for sure, DBZ characters' hair _is_ combustible! Let's set 'em on fire!

Tasuki: I'm up with that!

Both: (run out)

-

PFf: Well that's it! I want to thank Linda and an episode of Saiyuki for the drinking contest, DBZ characters hair for looking like they put tons of flammable hair products in it, and Amber for the DBZ hair salon idea. Thanks!

Chichiri: Did you really have that dream, no da?

PFf: No. I can up with the idea a long time ago.

Tasuki: (still drunk) You guys're idiots! Ugh, need somethin' ta drink. Where's tha' rubix cube?


	19. Chapter 18: Polly Wants a Cookie

PFf: Hee hee…

Tasuki: What're ya laghin' abou'?

PFf: Hee hee…

Chichiri: What's so funny, no da?

PFf: Hee hee…

Tasuki: (whispering to Chichiri) I think she lost it, man.

Chichiri: (whispering back) I agree, no da.

PFf: Ha ha ha ha ha…

Tasuki: I'm gettin' th' nut house.

Chichiri: I'll come too, no da. (both run out)

PFf: (turns, has a Bluetooth ear-piece in her ear) That's awesome! Huh? Hey, where did Chichiri and Tasuki go? They were here just a minuet ago. Oh well. (continues talking)

-

Chapter 18: Polly Wants a Cookie

PFf: Hey guys, guess what?

Tasuki: (groan) Oh no.

PFf: What?

Tasuki: Every time ya come in 'ere an' say "Guess what?", somethin' always 'appens where I either get hurt er in trouble.

PFf: But it's in a cage.

Chichiri: Uh, _what_ exactly is in the cage, no da?

PFf: (holding up cage) A parrot!

TAsuki: Why th' hell did ya get a parrot?!

PFf: 'Cause Mac and me were talking about having a parrot so I got one.

Chichiri: I guess that's innocent enough, no da. It _is_ in a cage, no da.

Tasuki: Mmmm…

PFf: (puppy dog eyes) Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaase!

Tasuki: Mmm…AGH! Alrigh'! Ya can keep th' damn thin'! Man, ya been spendin' too much time with Chichiri.

PFf: Yay! Say thank you, Muguru!

Muguru: Rawk! Thank you!

Chichiri: It can talk, no da?

PFf: Of course it can. Why would I get a parrot that wouldn't?

Tasuki: Great, now she'll never shut up.

-

(Tasuki's walking through a hallway, trips on the foot of a suit of armor (that happens to be right there))

Tasuki: AAAAAAAAAGH! (Boom!) Grr, damn haunted suit o' armor! (getting up, threatening it) What's th' big idea, huh?! Ya should be glad yer here! Ya look like ya can make good scrap metal!

armor: (kicks him in the knee)

Tasuki: O.O AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! DAMNIT! DAMN YOU, YA FUCKIN' PIECE A SHIT METAL!

Muguru: Rawk! Fuckin' piece a shit metal! Rawk!

Tasuki: Huh? (looks behind him) Oh, it's you.

Muguru: It's you! Rawk!

Tasuki: Guess ya repeat stuff, huh? Hm, say, "I'm a dumb chicken."

Muguru: I'm a dumb chicken! Rawk!

Tasuki: (snicker snicker) Alrigh'! I'm sensin' a great friendship you an' I. (bad guy snicker)

-

(Chichiri's walking down same hallway, sees Muguru)

Chichiri: Hey, Muguru, no da. How are you today?

Muguru: Rawk! You bastard! Rawk!

Chichiri: What, no da?!

Muguru: Asshole!

Chichiri: Muguru! Why're you using such foul language, no da?!

Muguru: Rawk! Cyclops!

Chichiri: (chibi, crying) PFfffffffff!

PFf: What?

chibi-Chichiri: (still crying) Muguru called me a cyclooooooooops!

PFf: Muguru! You know better than to call Chichiri a cyclops! That's mean!

Chichiri: Where would she have learned all of that, no da?

PFf: I don't know. It couldn't have been from TV. All I let her watch is Disney movies and last I checked, Mary Poppins didn't teach cussing.

Chichiri: Then-

Tasuki: (in the distance) Crap! Damn, stupid bike not working!

Muguru: Bitch! Rawk!

PFf: I think I found out. -.-+

Chichiri: Revege, no da? -.-+

PFf: Revenge. +

-

Tasuki: 'Ello, my little feathered friend. PFf an' Chichiri looked sooooo _pissed_! Good job! (gives her cracker) Alrigh', next yer gonna learn-

Muguru: Idiot!

Tasuki: 'Ey! Don' call me that! ...Ah, yer jus' playin'. One less thin' ta learn. Now then-

Muguru: Blockhead! Rawk!

Tasuki: Alrigh'. Anyway-

Muguru: Girl-phobiac!

Tasuki: 'Ey!

Muguru: (singing in _Brady Bunch_ tune) _There's an idiot! His name is Tasuki! And he's the biggest bag of hot air you ever seen!_

Tasuki: Why ya little…

Muguru: "Little" what?

Tasuki: Huh?

Muguru: Well? "Little" what?

Tasuki: Wait a minuet, I though ya only repeated stuff?

Muguru: Ya kidding? And spend my life repeating what idiots like you say and be fed crackers constantly? No thanks! I didn't get into show biz by doin' that! And I'm trying to keep my figure! You have any idea how fattening those crackers are?

PFf: You got something to say, Tasuki?

Chichiri: Like how Muguru learned all of those cuss words, no da?

Tasuki: Whoa! Where'd th' hell did ya'll come from?!

Muguru: (singing) _Someone's gonna get in trouble! Someone's gonna get in trouble!_

Tasuki: I jus' knew this was gonna happen. Damn!

PFf: That's it! Censorship, mister!

Tasuki: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

-

Tasuki: Man, I really ----in' hate this!

PFf: Tough cookie, mister. This is for your own good. I would like to thank Mac, for convincing me to get a parrot, and Suzaku (bad guy Suzaku from _Yu Yu Hakusho_), for letting me have Muguru. Thanks!

Tasuki: How'd ya guys get Muguru on yer side, anyway?

Chichiri: She gets to get out of her cage anytime and instead of crackers she can have cookies, no da.

Tasuki: What?! How th' ---- are cookies less fattenin' than crackers?!

Muguru: Ha ha ha ha! They're not! I just wanted to say that ta lead ya on!

Tasuki: ----,----in' chicken!

Muguru: (land on his head) Yeah, yeah, Fangy. Say, your hair's comfy! Mind if I take some ta make a nest out of it?

Tasuki: ---- no!

PFf: Ah, I just love friendship scenes, don't you?

Chichiri: Yeah, no da.


	20. Chapter 19: A Chapter To Make You Hungry

PFf: Hello, everybody! (something rolls into her feet) Huh? (picks up object) Hey, it's a Coke bottle. And it's still kinda full.

Tasuki: Alrigh'! Lemme see tha'!

PFf: Okay. (hands it to him)

Tasuki: (starts drinking it)

Chichiri: Doesn't he know you found that, no da?

PFf: Nope.

-

Chapter 19: A Chapter Guaranteed to Make You Hungry

(Once upon a time, in a kitchen far, far away…(Okay, okay, the kitchen was five feet away. That's beside the point! Anyway.) The chapter starts with two, Son Goku made famous words…)

PFf: I'm hungry! (goes to kitchen, looks in cabinet) Huuuuuuuungryyyyyyyyyyy…(sees bag full of small bags of Funyons) Funyons! (grabs a bag, goes back to living room)

Tasuki: (watching _Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers_) This movie's borin'.

PFf: Then why're you watching it?

Tasuki: 'Cause it's kick ass when it gets ta th' action parts!

PFf: (looking at Funyons bag, bag is filled with air so it's really puffed up and it's from Halloween so it has the picture of the Wolfman on it (expiration dates don't exist on Planet Bob)) Hm? (looks at Tasuki, looks at bag again) Whoa. It's Tasuki!

Tasuki: Huh? What's me?

PFf: (still looking at bag) I was wrong about your brain. It isn't a small rock, it's a bunch of Funyons.

Tasuki: What're ya talkin' abou'?

PFf: (shaking bag) Hey, Tasuki, I can here your brains!

Tasuki: Those're not my brains!

PFf: Wait a minute! If I shake it I might scramble your brains and kill you! (frantically shaking bag) Stay with me, Tasuki! Speak to me!

Tasuki: I'm not gonna die!

banana: I am a banana!

Tasuki: Naw, no shit Sherlock, I thought ya were a orange.

PFf: I thought you were a potato. Go back in the fridge and grow spuds!

banana: (walking back with head down) Yes, ma'am.

Tasuki: Jeez. An' I thought I was supposed ta be harsh.

PFf: Tasuki, your head is making me hungry so I'm gonna eat it, okay?

Tasuki: What?!

PFf: (opening Funyon bag)

Tasuki: Whew!

PFf: Mmm, your brains are oniony.

Tasuki: Tha' jus' sounded gross.

PFf: Wait a minute! If I'm eating you brains, does that mean I'm gonna become like you?

Tasuki: Fer th' las' time! Tha's not me!

PFf: NOOOOOOO!! I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE YOU! NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!

Tasuki: Wha's tha' supposed ta mean?!

phone: _Candy Mountain! Candy Mountain! You fill me with sweet sugary goodness!_

Tasuki: Ah, Suzaku! Th' phone too! (answers it) What?! I mean, 'ello?

someone: (singing) _Peanut butter-jelly time! Peanut butter-jelly time!_

PFf: (still screaming in the background) DER SWEIN IS KAPUT! DER SWEIN IS KAPUT!

Tasuki: What th' hell is it with everyone an food taday?!! (into phone) Shaddup! )hangs up, to PFf) Gimme th' bag!

PFf: No! Why would you want to eat your own brains? Unless you're a zombie!

Tasuki: I'm not a damn zombie an' those're not my brains! Now gimme th' bag!

PFf: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! ZOMBIE! GET AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND'S BRAINS! (pulls out gun, starts shooting at him)

Tasuki: AGH! Quit shootin' at me!

Chichiri: (walks in front door, sees PFf getting trigger happy and Tasuki trying to run for his life) Uh, I'm not gonna get involved this time, no da. (goes back out)

(15 minutes later)

PFf: Mmmm…Tasuki, your brains fulfilled my appetite!

Tasuki: Man, what're ya on?

PFf: I'm not on anything.

Tasuki: What d'ya _need_ ta be on?

Snap, Crackle,+Pop: (come out with instruments, start playing them) _Ba-da-ba-ba-baa! I'm lovin' it!_

Count Chocula: Blah! I came to steal your milk! Blah!

Koolaide guy: Oooooooh yeeeeeaaaaah…

Chester the Cheetah: Rrrrruffles have rrrrrrridges!

Tasuki: This place has gone ta th' dogs.

-

Tasuki: (laying on couch, blanket over him, looking really pale) Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

Chichiri: What's the matter, Tasuki, No da?

Tasuki: I'm diiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiin'…

Chichiri: You must be really sick if you're taking PFf's line for when _she's_ sick, no da.

Tasuki: (to PFf, who's fine) 'Ey! I got this crap from you! How come yer fine?!

PFf: Because I'm not sick. Must've been that Coke.

Tasuki: But that was yers!

PFf: No, I found it.

Tasuki: What?! Ya found it an' ya didn't tell me before ya drank it?!

PFf: I thought it was yours. Besides, you started drinking it before I could say anything.

Tasuki: Aw, damnit!

PFf: For this chapter I would like to thank food and mainly the bus trip home from a performance. The Funyon bag did exist (even though it didn't have a picture of the Wolfman on it) and I did eat it. It was good. And the incident with the Coke bottle also happened on the bus (but the girl didn't get sick afterwards). I would also like to thank the food icons for coming over and "Charlie the Unicorn" for the candy mountain song. Thanks guys! (Oh and "Jason Steele", I'll get you! You have been warned!)

Tasuki: Chichiri, I think I see th' light.

Chichiri: Oh quit being such a ham, no da.


	21. Chapter 20: Evil Laughter 101

PFf: Hey guys, sorry it took so long to put up a new chapter. I just haven't had any good ideas.

Tasuki: Yeah, it was actually peaceful here.

PFf: You sound like that's a bad thing.

Tasuki: Naw, I kinda miss th' quiet.

Chichiri: I agree, no da.

PFf: Shut up. Oh yeah, sorry for not doing an Easter chapter. Not much happened except for the Cadbery bunnies and the Easter bunny coming over. Oh well, enjoy!

-

Chapter 20: Evil Laughter For Dummies – The Training Video

PFf: Hi everybody. We're here to teach you how to do an evil laugh fitting for any novice bad guy.

Tasuki: Why're we doin' this again?

PFf: Because it's more fun than coming up with hero poses.

Chichiri: To start you off, no da, you need to know how to laugh, no da. Most people won't have a problem with this, but you'd be surprised, no da. To learn how, watch something funny or do it the easy way and get some laugh gas, no da. Now we can teach you how to laugh at something evil, no da. Pick out the scariest, goriest, most horrible movie you can think of or find, and watch it till you think it's the funniest thing in the world, no da. This might take you at least a hundred viewings, unless you don't become scarred and crazy, but in case that happens, turn off the movie and check yourself into the nearest mental hospital, no da. :)

Tasuki: …It's kinda creepy how much Chichiri's getting' inta this.

PFf: Yeah, just a little.

Chichiri: Now here is your tutor, O'Malley, no da.

O'Malley: Hm-hm! Good morning, class, I hope you are all _not_ feeling well today! Mwahahahaha!

Tasuki: Where'd ya get this guy?!

PFf: He was the only one I found that was willing to teach!

O'Malley: Now then, have we learned how to laugh at anything evil?

Chichiri: Yes, no da. :)

PFf: I'm surprised Chichiri didn't say anything yet. Gasp! What if he's one of them?!

Tasuki: Normally, I'd say, "Yer nuts, Chichiri'd never be a bad guy." But after all th' crazy shit I been through, I wouldn't be surprised.

PFf: NOOOOO! (grabs Chichiri by the shoulders, start shaking him) Come back to us, Chichiri! Think about you children! Think about your wife! Think about your cats!!

Chichiri: Daaaaa! What are you talking about, no da? And stop shaking me, no da!

PFf: Yay, you're back! (hugs him) I missed you.

Chichiri: Uuuuuh…Okay, no da…(looks at Tasuki) What's with her, no da?

I stopped askin' a long time ago.

O'Malley: Can we please continue on, I have evil plans of destruction to make in my secret evil hideaway lair.

All: Okay.

O'Malley: Anyway, there are many types of laughs. A good follower of darkness needs a laugh for every situation. Such as, "Mwahahahahaha! You fool! I will cut off your fingers, and eat them like chicken nuggets!" for a victory, and a, "I see you have found my secret lair! Took you long enough! Mwahahahahaah!" for a Curses! How in all that's evil did he find me?!

PFf: Of course your evil laugh also highly depend on you. Your laugh is your evil personality.

Tasuki: Before ya do that, why don' ya hear a few examples. Firs' off is th' regular "Bwahaha" or in O'Malley's case, "Mwahaha".

O'Malley: (with gusto) MWAHAHAHAHAHA! HAAAHAHAHA-

PFf: Okay, O'Malley.

O'Malley: HAHAHAHAHAH! HOOHAHAHA-

PFf: O'Malley, stop!

O'Malley: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-

PFf: Don't make me get Andy and make him explode!

O'Malley: Ha!...I'm done.

PFf: Good, anyway, there is also the korny laugh that I would highly recommend not doing unless you know how to do it. Take it away, Naraku!

Naraku: Kukukukukukuku…

PFf: Hee hee, funny. And-

Team Rocket Grunt: Fufufufufufufu…

Tasuki: Uh, yeah, that sounds sooo scary.

TR Grunt: Don't make me sick my Raticate on you!

Tasuki: A giant rat, ooo I'm shakin' in my boots.

TR Grunt: Sick 'im, Rasticate! Bite! (Raticat comes out, bites Tasuki on the knee with it's uber big teeth)

Tasuki: GAAAAAAAAAAH! DAMN RAT! I'M GONNA FRY YA AN' SMOTHER YA IN TERIYAKI SAUCE! (starts hitting it with fan)

PFf: Uh, hold on a minuet. (blacks out) Dang it, Tasuki! Can't do anything with out you screwing up!

Tasuki: Get it offa me! AAH! What th' hell is tha' purple stuff on my boot?! AAAGH! It's eatin' it! Th' Blob!

PFf: You big baby.

-

(comes back on)

PFf: Sorry 'bout that, folks. We had a doofus goofing off backstage.

Tasuki: (covered in scratches and purple goo) Shut up!

O'Malley: Continue on before I vaporize you!

Doc: (who is in the same body as O'Malley(actually _O'Malley_ is in the same body as Doc's since it's his body, but whatever)) That's not very nice!

O'Malley: Of course it's not nice you fool! I am on the side of eeeviiil! I can't be nice! Being nice is for fools like you!

Doc: But you need to be nice if you want friends.

O'Malley: How many times did I tell you! I don't need friends! I just need some useful henchmen!

Tasuki: Bi-polar much?

PFf: Uh, yeah, anyway, that's a different segment of our program. Let's stick to laughs, shall we?

Chichiri: Yes, no da. The next laugh, the crazy one, comes in many ways, no da. This is one example, no da. They're all yours, Faust.

Tasuki: Why's Faust here? He's not a bad guy.

PFf: Yeah, but he can sure do an evil crazy laugh pretty good.

Faust: (starts laughing crazily)

Tasuki: I see yer point.

PFf: Told ya.

O'Malley: The crazy laugh is usually used when you're getting to the last of your rope. That is, unless you really are crazy like the Joker or something.

Lord Chelsea: (high-pitched, fruity sounding) AH-hahahaha-haaa!

PFf: You're not in here.

Lord Chelsea: I should be, I'd give this video some pizaz!

Tasuki: (shudders) Tha' laugh gives me th' creeps!

Chichiri: Now that you heard the examples, no da, now it is time for you to try it, no da.

O'Malley: Think of everything evil until it fills you to the point where you will explode! (everyone does) Then let it out! (everyone laughs their own way, dies down after a while)

PFf: (still laughing(normally)) Hahahahahaha…Gasp! Hahahahahahahahaha-

Tasuki: Uh, ya can stop now.

PFf: Ha ha! Sorry, when we were getting ready, I just thought of the song _Papagenu_. That's a funny song.

Everyone: (sighs and slaps forehead)

PFf: (singing) Oo-la-lala. Oo papagenu, he's my papasass! Oo-la-lala. Oo papagenu, he's my sassafrass! Here we go, here we go, here we go! Oo-

-

PFf: -la-lala. Oo papagenu-

Tasuki: Shut up an' finish th' damn chapter already!

PFf: What? Oh, right. I would like to thank all bad guys and evil villains with your evil laughs, the opera singing penguin whose name skips me in _Happy Feet_ (awesome movie!), and O'Malley for his unique and very evil sounding laugh.

Tasuki: Is it over now?

PFf: Yes.

Tasuki: Finally! I needed a drink.

(PFf: Sorry again for not updating in such a long time! To make it up to you guys, send me a message and I'll give you the URL of my friend's and mine's website. Click on special chapters and watch our live chapter. You'll love it!)


	22. Chapter 21: Mini Chapters 3

PFf: Took me some time, but here's two mini chapters. Enjoy!

-

5: Technology Bytes

PFf: (on the computer) Hahahahaha! Rooster Teeth comics are the best!

Tasuki: 'Ey, give some one else a turn, will ya?

PFf: No! Besides, Tron doesn't like you! He likes me.

Tasuki: Oh god, she gave th' computer a name.

PFf: (scratching the monitor like you do a dog) You like me, don't you, Tron? You don't like that big, dumb ol' Tasuki, do ya? Yes…(computer fizzles, smoke comes out of monitor) DAA!

Tasuki: Hahahaha! Ah yeah, "Tron" reeeeeeaaallly loves ya! Hahahahaha!

PFf: NOOOOO! Dumb MCP Commander Sark computer! You're not supposed to give into them, Tron! You traitor! Traaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiitoooooooor! (computer explodes) ACK!

-

PFf: Ahh, a good ol' Game Boy color is always good entertainment. (turns it on, doesn't come on) Huh? (tries again, does same thing) What?! You're batteries can't be dead! I just changed them! (tries Game Boy advanced, also doesn't come on) No! I charged you thirty minuets ago!

Tasuki: Lemme guess, yer Game Boy don' work?

PFf: Nice deduction, onion brain! (tries the stereo, zaps her) Ow!

Tasuki: Guess they don' like ya anymore.

PFf: Why don't _you _turn on the TV then, oh "Mister Electricity/Pyromaniac master"?

Tasuki: Alrigh'. (picks up remote, turns on TV just fine) See? Looks like I'm better.

PFf: What?!! Gimme that! (changes channel, goes on channel with a really badly cross dressing man in a red and black dominatrix costume and boxing glove on one hand and a man in the back ground with really long, oddly bending arms in a suit, going: man 1: "Oh Fishy, fishy, fish!" man 2: "Un fish, un fish! That went where ever I did go." (If you've seen _Monty Python's The Meaning of Life_, you know what I'm talking about))

Both: …………………………

PFf: Why are we watching this?

Tasuki: I dunno. I don' why, but fer some reason, I can't stop watchin'. (TV explodes) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Ya blew th' TV up! It didn' deserve it, ya bitch! Why'd ya hafta blow th' TV up?!

PFf: I didn't mean to! Why is everything blowing up on me?!

Tasuki: TV murderer!

Chichiri: (comes running in, carrying newspaper) Hey, no da, did you guys read the paper, no da?

PFf: Chichiri, you're talking to a Funyun-brained idiot and someone who gets the paper just for the comics and the TV guide.

Tasuki: Now we don't need a TV guide, TV killer.

PFf: Shut up!

Chichiri: Good point, no da. Well anyway, the paper says that all electronics in the area are have a kind of revolution, no da.

PFf: Why?

Chichiri: Apparently a group of drunks decided to go into an electronics store last night (Tasuki sided stepping away) and break a whole bunch of the merchandise, no da. And let's just say that the owners aren't the only ones that aren't happy, no da.

PFf: Hm, hey, where'd Tasuki go?

Chichiri: It says that one of the drunks with red hair and fangs yelled right in front of the camera, "Ya'll suck ass!", no da.

PFf: I'll get the hellhounds and shackles.

-

PFf: Dumb Tasuki, always screwing things up.

Tasuki: (tied up in chains, with two hell hounds on either side of him) Mff!

Chichiri: Where did you get the hell hounds, no da?

PFf: Compliments of Ghost Rider and Matt from Rooster Teeth. They snuck some out of hell and brought them here.

Chichiri: …Ah, I suppose that was, uh, thoughtful, no da.

PFf: Yeah, anyaway, enjoy the second half.

-

6: For the Moms

PFf: Tasuki, let's go!

TAsuki: Go? Go where?

Chichiri: To your mom's, no da.

PFf: Today's Mother's Day.

Tasuki: What?! I don' wanna go!

Chichiri: But you have to, no da. If it weren't for her, you wouldn't be alive, no da.

Tasuki: If it weren't fer her I wouldn't a had five harpies fer older sisters. Thanks fer that. Besides, whatcha do fer Alexis, huh?

Chichiri: Ha! I remembered this time so you can't use that against me, no da. I'm going to give her her present tonight, no da.

Tasuki: Gross, don' tell me.

Chichiri: Quit thinking pervy, Tasuki, no da.

PFf: Besides, when was the last time you thanked your mom?

Tasuki: Thank 'er fer what, makin' my childhood a livin' hell?! Never!

PFf: Oh come on! Didn't she used to comfort you when you cried, tucked you into bed and tell you bed time stories, or bake you guys cookies?

Tasuki: She'd bop me on th' head an' say, "Be a man, damnit!", lay on top a me an' take a nap, an' make this stuff tha' smelled like seven skunks that ate week old burritos died in it an' say it was healthy an' make _me_ eat it. Yeah, real motherly.

PFf: Did you ever think that if you were nice to her, she would be nice back?

Tasuki: Tried it, she just gave me two more helpings a skunk stew.

Chichiri: Aw, c'mon Tasuki, no da. There has to be _something_ your mom did that you appreciate, no da.

PFf: Yeah, you can't absolutely _hate_ her if you visit her once in a great while on your own time.

Tasuki: …Well…

PFf: Yeah?

Tasuki: There was this one time…

PFf: Yeah? Go on?

Tasuki: If you'll shut up I'll tell ya!+

PFf: Well hurry up and say it!

Tasuki: (turning red) U-uh, I don' think I wanna anymore.

PFf: What?! Come on!

Tasuki: No!

Chichiri: C'mon, Tasuki: no da. It's nothing to be embarrassed about, no da. I remember my mother could cook the best fish you ever tasted, no da. She's also the one that encouraged me to ask Kouran to marry me, no da.

PFf: My mom puts up with me, my brother, and my dad without losing her patience. You know how my brother and dad are.

Tasuki: U-u-uh…(thinking about it, gets really red, mumbles something)

Chichiri: What, no da?

Tasuki: (mumbles again)

PFf: We don't understand mumbling, genius.

Tasuki: SHE LET ME HAVE A DAMN GIRL FRIEND!

Both:………Huh?

PFf: Uh, you joined a bandit gang when you were eight (I'm guessing). You were at the age where you thought girls had cooties.

Chichiri: I think he still thinks that, no da.

PFf: Me too.

Tasuki: Ahem, I said girl…friend, not girlfriend. There's a difference.

PFf: Oh yeah, there's such a big difference. One space, whoopdeedoo.

Tasuki: Shut up!

Chichiri: How did you meet her, no da?

Tasuki: I used to go ta th' market wit Ma. I met 'er there an' we became friends. I'm surprised Ma didn't care.

PFf: Why, she didn't let you have any friends or something?

Tasuki: Everytime she saw a girl near me, she always had ta make some comment like, "Aww, their kids'll look sooo cute!" Disturbin' I tell ya.

PFf: I concur.

-

(After much debate and a push in the pool)

Tasuki: But!-

PFf: No buts! Just give them to your mom and tell her "Happy Mother's Day".

Tasuki: But!-

Chichiri+PFf: GO!

Tasuki: Alrigh', alrigh'. (goes up to door, grumbling, knocks on door)

Mom: Yeah? Oh, whater ya doin' here?

Tasuki: Nice ta see ya too, Ma.

PFf: Ahem, we came to tell you happy Mother's Day. I got you that sauce pan you wanted.

Chichiri: _Indiana Jones trilogy_, all the _Lethal Weapon_ movies, _Shawn of the Dead_, and _My Big, Fat Greek Wedding_, no da. I'm sure you would really enjoy them no da.

Mom: Ooooooh! (squeezes the life out of them both) Thank you!

Both: Ggk! Yeah! …N-no problem! (no da!)

Mom: Well thank you for the gifts.

PFf: Uh, Tasuki has something for you too.

Mom: What is it now, boy? More clothes for me ta mend?

Tasuki: No! (holds out little bouquet of pretty wild flowers) Picked 'em myself. Happy Mother's Day, Ma.

Mom: (getting teary eyed) Oh, Tasuki. My little boy! Thank you! (hugs him)

Tasuki: (_for once_, hugging back) Yer welcome, Ma. (Notices he's being stared at by PFf, Chichiri, and his sisters from inside) Uh, Ma? Ya can let go now. (to the sisters) What're ya lookin' at, hags?

sisters: (singing) Tasuki's a Mama's boy! Tasuki's a Mama's boy!

Tasuki: Shut up!

Mom: Don' tell yer sisters ta shut up, young man! (whacks him upside the head)

Tasuki: OW!

Chichiri+PFf: Awww, how sweet!

Tasuki: Shut up! Why does this always happen?! OW! Why'd ya hit me now, Ma?!

-

Tasuki: (rubbing head) Ow, damnit! Ya just had ta do a Mother's Day chapter, didn't ya?

PFf: Duh. And you're the only one here that has a mom living near by. (Mine's on Earth by the way.)

Tasuki: So?!

Chichiri: This chapter makes me miss my mother, no da. T.T

PFf: Aww, Chichiri. You have Alexis and all of them now. Tasuki, comfort him!

Tasuki: What? Why me?

PFf: I have to wrap this up.

Tasuki: Why can't ya just say, "It's been a blast, now fuck off"?

PFf: Because I'm not you. Anyway, I would like to thank _Tron_ (even though I still haven't seen it) and the handy little gadgets that make us more lazy than we already were for the first half of this chapter and for the last half (even though it's really late), I would like to thank all you moms out there! You guys rock! Whoooo! Mom power!

Tasuki: Yer dumb.

PFf: Not as dumb as you.


	23. Chapter 22: Summer Fun!

PFf: Ah, summer. School's over, sleeping in, vacation, swimming. I love it!

Tasuki: All that's good and all, except th' swimmin'. Ya can have that.

Chichiri: Swimming's not all that bad until you try it, no da.

Tasuki: I tried it, didn't like it.

PFf: The first time was during a storm and the second time you didn't even know you were swimming until somebody said something.

Tasuki: So?!

PFf: So that doesn't count.

Tasuki: I don' care! I'm not swimmin' and that's that! (stomps off)

PFf: Hmmmm…I think I may have an idea, Chichiri.

Chichiri: And what might that be, no da?

PFf: You'll see. Heh heh heh heh…

-

Chapter 22: This Is The Way We Drown The Tasuki, All Day Long!

Tasuki: Hmmm, 's quiet. (looking around) Li'l too quiet fer my taste. Wha's goin' on?

PFf: (walks by, grabs back of shirt, dragging him) Let's go.

Tasuki: GACK! What th' hell?! Let go a me!

PFf: No way! This is my opportunity to do this, so I'm taking it. Tough break.

Tasuki: "Opportunity" ta do _what_?!

PFf: You'll see. You just hang tight.

Tasuki: AGH! Too tight! Too tight!

-

(After several minuets of walking around, PFf and Tasuki finally arrive in a room with an Olympic size pool)

Tasuki: (exhausted sigh) Are we there yet?!

PFf: Yep.

Tasuki: Good. Wait, I know tha' smell. (looks up, sees pool) WATER!! (runs)

PFf: Seal the doors, Chichiri!

Chichiri: Right, no da!

Tasuki: (runs into closed doors) BANG! .

PFf: Cooro, Nana! Fly him over the water.

Nana: Ugh, he's heavy! He needs to loose weight _so_ badly!

Cooro: He's not that, urg!, bad!

Nana: Yeah, right! I can see you struggling over there!

Tasuki: ugh, wha?

PFf: Alright, drop him!

Tasuki: Wha? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!! (PLOOSH!) GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! HELP! GET ME OUTTA HEEEEEEERRRRRRREEEE!!

Husky: (in pool in merman form) You're in the shallow end moron.

Tasuki: I DON' CARE! I'M GONNA DIE!

Husky+ (whacks him upside the head with his tail) Get a hold of yourself!

Tasuki: Ow! Whatchya bring me here for anyway?!

PFf: I told you, I had the opportunity so I took it. Besides, you have the best swim teacher I can think of besides Aquaman.

Husky: You should be glad you're a friend of Senri's. You better pay me good too.

Tasuki: Tha' sounds all too familiar. Damn Tama.

Chichiri: Don't worry, Tasuki, no da. We won't allow you to drown, no da.

Tasuki: Aw, tha's reassurin'! Why can't ya teach me, Chichiri?

Chichiri: It's much more fun to watch, no da.

Tasuki: Ya asshole. Oh wait! I don' have swim trunks! Sorry, looks like I can't learn how ta swim!

PFf: Taken care of. (pointing at Tasuki, who _was_ in swim trunks)

Tasuki: What th-?!

PFf: You were wearing trunks the whole time. Your clothes were an illusion.

Tasuki: No wonder th' gang was lookin' at me funny. Wait a minuet, how did ya guys get me in trunks?

PFf: None of us wanted to change you, so we used hypnosis. It's amazing what hypnosis can do.

Tasuki: Thanks.

PFf: Anyway, you're going to learn how to swim whether you like it or not.

Tasuki: Why?

Chichiri: 'Cause swimming's fun, no da!

Tasuki: _You_ enjoy it then, I'm outta here. (starts climbing out)

PFf: That's where Senri and Rose comes in. (Senri knocks Tasuki back in pool)

Tasuki: What th' hell?!

Rose: Every time you try getting out, Senri and I'll push you back in. So no funny business.

Tasuki: Damnit!

-

(After two hours of learning how to stay above the water)

Husky: Okay, now that we _finally_ learned not to drown ourselves.

Tasuki: Shut up, ya damn tuna!

Husky: Fish!

Tasuki: Tuna is fish!

Husky: Not tuna!

Tasuki: Awright crab then!

Husky: I don't look like a crab! Crabs aren't even fish!

Tasuki: Yeah, they are! They live underwater, they're fish!

Husky: Whales lives in the ocean and they're not fish!

Tasuki: Now yer sayin' yer a whale, huh?!

Husky: I just said I'm a fish, not whale!

Tasuki: Coulda fooled me.

PFf: (sigh) This isn't working.

Chichiri: He's trying reeeeaaallly hard to make Husky quit, isn't he, no da?

PFf: Yeah. Well, time for plan B. Hand me that vial, Chichiri.

Chichiri: (handing vial) You sure you want to do this, no da?

PFf: Positive. (empties contents of vial in water) Hey, Cooro! Shove Tasuki underwater!

Cooro: Can do! Banzai! (dive bombs Tasuki feet first on the head)

Tasuki: Gurgle Blurb Bloop Gurgle Glug! (OW! What th' hell're ya doin'?!) (comes up after a while) GASP! What th' hell, Cooro?!!

Cooro: She told me to.

Tasuki: Grrr+ (starts swimming after him with super speed)

Chichiri: He's swimming fast, no da!

PFf: It worked!

Cooro: AAAH! Quit chasing me!

Husky: (grabs "feet") Cut it out! (realizes what he's holding) What the?! (lets go)

Tasuki: (accidentally speeds forward, hits head on wall) CRACK! OW!

Cooro: Hey, I didn't know you were like Husky!

Tasuki: What? No I'm not, I got le- (lifts up "legs", sees red fish tail) What. Th'. Hell?

PFf: Tasuki's a merman!

Nana: Ooo, like the _Little Mermaid_?

Tasuki: Hell no!

Chichiri+PFf: (singing) I wanna be where the people are. I wanna see, wanna see 'em dancing!

Tasuki: Shut up! Change me back, damnit! I don' wanna be like tuna boy over there!

Husky: I'm a fish+

-

Tasuki: (still merman) Damnit! I can't believe ya did this ta me!

Chichiri: At least now you don't have to be afraid of drowning, no da.

Tasuki: Thanks, I always wanted ta be a _fish_!

Chichiri: You're welcome, no da.

PFf: Well, I would like to thank the four football players in my theatre class that insisted we watch _The Little Mermaid_ and were singing along with the songs, good ol' summer, swimming, and Tasuki's fear of it.

Tasuki: Change me back!

PFf: (ignoring him) I would also like to thank Cooro and the others from _+Anima_ for showing up on short notice.

Cooro: (eating apple given to him) You're welcome!

Tasuki: Change me back!!

PFf: You know if you just get out of the water it'll go away, right?

Tasuki: Oh, now ya tell me! (starts getting out)

All (but Tasuki)(singing): Under the sea! Under the sea! Down where it's wetter, everything's better, under the sea!

Tasuki: SHUT UP! (slips back in pool)


End file.
